I have a mixture of regret and shame. I'm ashamed that I let him back me up against the wall and tell me I wasn't good enough because I wasn't perfect, and that I believed him. And I regret I spent so much time trying to be perfect and do everything just as he wanted thinking that if I got it right, then he'd stop fucking other women.
But I also know that I'm a decent person. That I was loyal, faithful and true. And that all of that matters more than the fact that I would cry when someone was mean to me, snap at xWH when he was a selfish dick to me, or whatever supposed horrific transgression I committed.
Be kind to yourself LC. You were good enough then, and now having lost what? 180#'s of deadweight, you're even better