Deep breaths - that's how.
I got a call from daycare about 20m after he dropped her off one Mon morning about my then 2.5 year old having a 40C/104F temp. She was miserable and listless when he dropped her off. He said she was tired because she didn't sleep well.
I pick her up, take her to the Drs and it's a double ear infection. Later that day my big girl tells me little girl vomited in her bed every night (so Fri, Sat and Sun nights) at her dad's. He didn't mention any of it to me.
I was so upset - my poor little girl in pain like that without relief or treatment made me want to rip his face off.
Her DC careers were mad too when I told them why she hadn't slept well.
I confronted via SMS and tore him a new one. I too got "she was fine" etc. I ask if he even checked her temp AT ALL? No. I called him everything under the sun. He kept saying she's was fine. It didn't do anything - he still doesn't pay heed to their health.
My 6 y/o came home with a bad nail infection after a week with him. It was big/sore/red - he told her it would go away.
Another time he sent her to summer vacation care pool day without a rashie or sunscreen (she is very fair skinned) - she told me that Fri night that she was sunburned - he sent her again without a rashie or sunscreen on the Tue. When I picked her up on the Wed she was wincing about her shoulder and couldn't hold her backpack. The careers told me she had a bad burn. I looked and it was awful. About a 10cm patch on the top of her shoulder. I almost burst into tears.
Dr confirmed 2nd degree burn - she was with me for that week so I treated it. When I informed him all he said was "it didn't seem that bad".
I'm collecting all of this info in case something worse happens and I need proof of how lax his care is.
If I think the girls are off I ask him to take their temps and keep a record of the readings should either of us need that info to take them to the Dr. I can't make him do it but that doesn't stop me from trying to ensure my kids very basic needs are met.
FTG. Fuck them to hell. I hate this shit.