Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: conflictedcolleg (44943)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Insight needed!!
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So my son’s barber is a cool cat. Been knowing him since we were knee high to grasshoppers. Anyways..he knows a bit about my situation. We been chatting it up, mostly about sports, and news headlines and such. Anytime he gets flirty…I deflect. He always says he had a crush on me since we were kids. I always laugh and say, you had nothing but space and opportunity to see what could happen and you never said a word to me. (not in a mean way, just sort of matter of factly). Anyways, he told me not too long ago that the way I am handling my WS is nothing short of amazing. That his girl would try and take him through the ringer if he ever did something like what my WS has…the way he has done it. Says I’m not like other women because I’m way too calm and not arguing with WS and all that stuff.

NOTE: All convos are in person at the shop. Never go out of the way to talk besides appt times.

Here is the kicker……then he says I feel drawn to you…like I could love you if you let me……ME: I won’t be letting you do that.

Now, decode that for me ……what is he tryna be a KISA…or what? I am the same jovial, loquacious person with everyone……the same story I told him, is what my best girlfriends know. If someone asks…I consider it sharing my testimony of growth, not a cry for pity or sympathy.

I’m not touching him with a ten-foot-pole. I can find another barber…..I just wonder…what he is trying to pull here.


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
notmeanymore
♀ Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Think you know exactly what he's trying to pull. Trying to take advantage of someone who's been through a lot.

"His girl"? So he has a SO and is saying this nonsense? That takes it to a whole 'nother level of skeevy


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 870 | Registered: Feb 2006
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can never be too sure when someone says "my girl" or "my dude". My brother used to say the same bit about his kids' mom, and they were nothing more than parents of the same kids..but he did act possessive long after they were no longer a couple.

Anecdotal, I know...but I can't call it. I just wonder for what? If dude is feeling some
type-a-way go home to ya girl and do whatever it is with her.

I just don't get it. BE single and do what you want. Why is that so hard?

I promise I will not be in a relationship for a while after my situation is final....


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd tell him thanks but no thanks, I'm not interested in you that way. I think he needs it spelled out in capital letters, if necessary!

He isn't taking hints. If he doesn't get it when it's spelled out right in front of him, switch barbers!

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5081 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Come on Nikki, You know that "my girl" is for his woman. When they say "my girl" there are strings attached regardless. Sounds to me like a playa. Nothing special about this dude. Don't feed into the game talk. He knows your a cool chick, and you are better than most woman who would get all indigent. He may like that about you...

You would tell me the same thing.

It is always nice to hear but he is pulling game on you and trying to get a little on the side. Trust!

[This message edited by Faithful w/Love at 11:43 AM, April 29th (Tuesday)]


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2661 | Registered: Aug 2011
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know yall...I know.

I guess my thing is...why do people hitch up if they wanna play the field? Seriously. Is this a cultual thing? I have friends that are single and kidless and mingle but they catch hell. WHY? Why not commend them for knowing themselves well enough to know what they want, when and with whom...and knowing enough to know they haven't found it yet?


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nikki,
That is a good question. I feel they think it is a game to some extent. I think that they are insecure with themselves also. People who have good values and morals also don't do this.

Take my wh for instant. He has cheated mind body and soul. Meaning, he can talk and charm all he wants but I am on to him. He may feel he isn't doing anything bad like having an A. But, if you are on dating sites, searching females that you work with, emailing females that you work with, getting messages from females about hooking up for sex, going out with female co workers, texting your xAP, and still confessing your love for me... what does that tell you?

A culture thing??? I don't know but personally, in my little world where I live we have ALOT of playa's who are married or have a main woman. Makes me sick... And I don't understand why they just don't go and be single.


I feel ya on all that you are sayin.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2661 | Registered: Aug 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think some people can't "do" alone. So they cast someone in the role of the safety net and then continue to chase the high.

Also? Some people suck.

[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 1:09 PM, April 29th (Tuesday)]


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25343 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 8

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.