Hoping for the best and keep us posted! It's rocky at first but get good ICs and you will start down the right path.
He needs to realize that this isn't one and done though, but rather it is hard, painstaking, repetitive work. The triggers and trauma will cycle as you process them, eventually coming at longer intervals apart but still present. However if he can do the work with you to heal it can take you somewhere good, if you both are able to make it.
My only fear is we are supposed to go back to Florida tomorrow. I'm scared he is trying to pick a fight so I won't go. You know who is there!
I hope that your MC can help you this weekend. If not, then cancel the sessions. You can't do MC with someone who doesn't want to save their marriage it's a waste of time and money and energy. Right now, an IC might be far, far better.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I am past the 2 year mark. I just "let it go" for the sake of everyone. I never got the true remorse or the meaningful marriage counseling.
She quit betraying me and I quit bothering her with it. For the last six months things were pretty good. My wife has been great and has honestly acted like nothing ever happened and has been wonderful.
Lately things have started to come back with a vengeance.
If you don't deal with it now it's not going away.
Scuba I'm in fl also, the northeast corner to be almost exact.
I hope the weekend is mantrum free for you.
Also, you can see ICs that are in training (they are under supervision at a practice usually) at extremely reasonable prices. Something to consider if you really need to talk to someone.
I agree hard to believe a BS would be so capable of inflicting this.
Reconciled; Sometimes still have hard days, but getting by. Still dealing with feelings I buried,but finally getting them out.
Thanks titanfour, I will check into that about the IC's in training.
After dinner last night we came home and actually had a moment of alone time, I thought this would be a good time to talk a little. I asked him simply when your first wife cheated on you did it hurt you at all? His response was I guess a little. I then asked it didn't tear your heart out? His reply was no, I guess it was over by then. I'm totally taken aback by this, really?? Wow, did you not love her anymore, (cheesey response coming) no, not like I love you. Damn, so you didn't love her like you love me, yet you do to me what she did to you. Well just to let you know it hurt me very bad. A little more banter back and forth, then I try to ask about does he want to talk to someone, no he doesn't need it. So now I bring up SI to him. Try to let him know there is a place where he can go and find answers or help if he needs it.. He says he don't need the brain washing like I have gotten. I'm like what do you mean? He tells me SI is filling my head with issues that don't even exist. Apparently I have left my ipad with this site open. Not really sure if he has read my exact posts or not, but it really hurt.
I walk into the kitchen to get a drink come back out and he is gone, I think just to the bathroom, 20 minutes go by, I walk back to the bedroom and he is in bed. No goodnight, nothing. I go to the bathroom to take a shower. I come out he is back in the den, now playing Xbox. I throw my hands up and just went to bed. Now here it is a nice long weekend. We have spoken 4 words to each other all day. I have stayed in the bedroom and he has played Xbox all day!!!
I hope he isn't waiting for dinner. Not gonna happen. I am so stuck in my situation, no job and no way out.
I printed off the divorce papers and gave them to him.
I now plan on seeking my own way out.