Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: MissTake (44701)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How??? it was with escorts
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How can I truly ever trust him that hes really on sales appointment and not meeting up with random bitches??? How??? I cant.

I was blindsided with this so...how do I move on and try when I dont believe a damn thing hes ever said or says now???


Posts: 102 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Full transparency for one.

Do you have access to everything?

Emails
Cell Phone bill
Social networking (twitter, facebook, instagram)

There are also many apps for your cell phone that allow you to see exactly where he is at any given time.

Those things, alone with him working on himself are starters...


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you been tested?

Escorts - plural eh?
Bad news.

How do you move on - one step at a time, get "into yourself", after all you are the only one you can truly trust...

Did you mean "try" as in, try to reconcile?


Posts: 6534 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
krsplat
♀ Member
Member # 43242
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For now, the truth is that you CAN"T trust him, or anything he tells you.

If he is sorry, and ready to quit betraying you and f*ing other people, he will give you access to everything he owns: phone and email passwords, social media, his pants pockets, whatever. My WH sends me "selfies" of him arriving at work (next to the building sign), out to lunch with co-workers, whatever helps me feel better.

As for moving on and trying... give yourself time to decide what you really want to do. Find a good counselor or therapist and go talk and talk and talk. Take care of yourself.

If he is remorseful and ready to do years of repair work, you might be OK staying with him. If he is not, I would suggest that life alone with someone you can trust -- YOU -- might be better than life with a lying cheater.

[This message edited by krsplat at 6:10 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]


Me & WH: 48, married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus multiple ONS
Status: Back on the coaster. Who knows?

Posts: 326 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Virginia
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He has fb which I have access to. He deleted his secret email because he knew I'd go nuts if I caught him. I wish I would have.

And yes plural...he met with whores a few times for "blow jobs" and full body massages. Im sure there was more but thats what the polygraph is for.

I got tested last week....we'll see what happens. I tried to reconcile thinking it was after one of the hardest times in our life but thats just a bullshit excuse. I cant even look at him today. I hate what hes made me. Asshole.


Posts: 102 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Raspberry)))

There is a resource thread for those of us with a WS that uses escorts here:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=502528&HL=32550

I am so sorry. You deserve much better.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1466 | Registered: Jun 2011
Gotmegood
♀ Member
Member # 41407
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Raspberry- I feel for you, and know that you are hurting, disgusted, shocked and angrier than you ever imagined was possible. If I could go back to my own DDay, when I saw the prostitute's text to my WH, these are the things I would do: take better immediate care if myself. STD test pronto, and a visit to a lawyer without telling him a thing. Get immediate access to all phone calls from this day forward, all passwords, and tell him there is a no tolerance policy for pornography...none. Get into counseling for YOU immediately. This is so so important, and the beginning of your self-care. Make absolutely no decisions right now, you are not in the right frame if mind to make clear decisions at this time. And...push him into counseling too. He's got a ton of issues to work on, more than you know now. I will be looking for further posts for you. Good luck, it really sucks.


Me: faithful wife 62.
Him: WH 64 , prostitute 20 yr old
DDay: 8-13-2013
Status: boinging up and down like a yo-yo

Posts: 448 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Florida
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He has fb which I have access to. He deleted his secret email because he knew I'd go nuts if I caught him. I wish I would have. I have access to the others but that doesn't help because he was sneakt enough to make a secert one. I cant even recover it because its yahoo. Drives me nuts!

And yes plural...he met with whores a few times for "blow jobs" and full body massages. I'm sure there was more but thats what the polygraph is for.

I got tested last week....we'll see what happens. I tried to reconcile...he said he was stupid and wasn't thinking because it was after one of the hardest times in our life but thats just a bullshit excuse. I cant even look at him today. I hate what hes made me. Asshole.

I'm going to do the 180.


Posts: 102 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Angry  Posted: 8:29 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I forgot to add:

We are both in IC. Not that I feel its helping.

He cheated on me when I was pregnant with our second son. I guarantee its been going on for the whole relationship. So if he has an std, I got it too because we weren't using protection. >:(

Thanks for the link...I will check it out now.

Also what apps to track him?


Posts: 102 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
Gotmegood
♀ Member
Member # 41407
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

R- I got the "i was stupid" excuse as well. Um, ya. But it's way more egregious than 'stupid' my friend. Your IC will be helpful, it really will. I can't imagine trying to work your way around all of the pain of that cesspool by yourself.
I congratulate you for doing so much 'right' this early on. 180 is your friend right now. It will make you stronger. It will protect you. You are what counts now. I'm not sure what to do to track him.....key logger on his computer maybe? They are easy to google to find available set-ups, many with free 1 month trials. Tracking him; it all depends on what his MO was to begin with. Do you think he would still be trying to hook up with a public semen receptacle now? If you suspect him of seeking a prostitute now, in the middle of his 'exposure', then I'd kick his gross ass out this minute. Sorry.


Me: faithful wife 62.
Him: WH 64 , prostitute 20 yr old
DDay: 8-13-2013
Status: boinging up and down like a yo-yo

Posts: 448 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Florida
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will do a polygraph and im waiting for him to get his new phone to install things. But those trackers cant track incognito browsing.right?

Posts: 102 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
justasinger
♂ Member
Member # 43031
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's one for the iphone that shows you EVERYTHING. You can even activate the mic remotely to use the phone as a listening device. I can't remember what it's called though. I almost got it, but decided that it wasn't worth the 70 bucks to prove what I already knew.


BSO -me 38
WSO - her 30
2x DD ages 6 and 4
D-day #1 APR08 (supposed ONS w/OM)
D-day #2 1JAN13 2x ONS w/OM and OW, and a ONS
D-day #3 22APR14 (admitted to another ONS that she didn't fess up to during DDay #2)

Posts: 164 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: New England
1devastedmom
♀ Member
Member # 38399
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's called mobilespy. I've had it on my husband's phone for a year now. He has no idea. You need access to the phone but it only takes minutes to install. I did it to my husband's while he was in the shower. Just make sure you delete it from his downloads file otherwise he'll see that its been loaded. The app itself is hidden.

[This message edited by 1devastedmom at 10:13 PM, May 1st (Thursday)]


Me BS: 42
WH: 44
DDay- April 17, 2013
Married 22 years
3 children: 18, 15 & 9
Reconcilling

Posts: 133 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: 1devastedmom
Topic Posts: 13

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.