Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: PhoenixTake2 (45066)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Hand Written Anniversary Card
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Question  Posted: 9:44 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So the 29th was our anniversary... I had a difficult time picking a card out for SAWH, but I found one that was appropriate for where we are right now. He didn't get me a card. We went to dinner and when I got in the car he handed me a hand written note on a scrap of paper. When I read it initially it was very sweet and touched me. I tucked in my purse, and we went to dinner. Dinner was pleasant and we had a lovely time.

Yesterday, I found the note in my purse and read it again. My heart stopped and I triggered hard core. I remembered in the email exchanges that OW had told me their "symbol" was a heart that he had hand drawn on a home made card for her with a note as well. That she kept it in the back of the picture frame with his picture next to her bed. He also drew a heart on the card he gave me.

I don't know whether he forgot her gave her one like this. I don't know if he's just pulling out whats easy for him (he's an English major and likes to write). I don't know if I should say something or let it go?

My thoughts go to doubts as to why he's with me again. Is this just part of his wayward pattern. Our very first valentines together, we didn't have any money He wrote me a poem promising that I could trust him and that he would never betray me. That was clearly a bold face lie. Why should I believe that these words are any different?

I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling like I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth about anything to do with love, emotions or relationships.

Should I tell him how I feel about this card and how it triggered me?


ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6587 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would.

Hate that thought that if it worked for MOW it would work for me. Especially if he's not done that sort of thing before. I think I would ask him why he didn't buy a card and take it from there.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3460 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A. If he did it from a place of good, and meant to be kind and sweet he deserves to know that it makes you trigger so he can either avoid it in the future, or find a way to reclaim this type of gift and make it specific for you.

B. If he did it because that's his go to, and it's easy, then you have to call him out on it. He needs to know that you expect more. He needs to know that you KNOW that you are worth more than the cheap easy lines he gave his whore.

Either way you have to talk about it.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8595 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tushnurse - that's exactly how I feel. That he used his ability to write to her, and then pit me in the same category when he did the same for me. I deserve better.


ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes you do.


k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6563 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes you do.

ditto


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2154 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.