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Newest Member: Kickedintheheart (44927)

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User Topic: Gym Drama
Weatherly
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been going to the Y and working out for about a year now. I found I love Zumba, There are 2 female instructors, one who I like, but her class is really easy. And one who I don't like, but her class is harder, so I go. There was a male instructor who I never liked. I thought he was an arrogant jerk. But, damn, his classes were a great workout and always packed. He almost had Zumba bootcamp, and you got made fun of if you couldn't keep up.

Guy got fired Friday. Which, was shocking because he had 3-4x more students than any other instructor. He announced he'd been fired and a lot of people were all "oh no, I'm so sorry. how could that do that." Understandable. I said it too, and thanked him for helping me get in better shape.

Now, there is this huge backlash against the Y for firing him. I know what incident was the final straw, and yes, he was an asshole. I know a couple other things too. But, I don't know the whole story. Well, yesterday, he writes a post like "fuck the Y, fuck the directors. You are lucky i'm a nice guy or you'd be on the floor. How dare you fucking disrespect me like that? i'm a veteran. You can't do this to me, and this isn't the last you've seen of me. I know you assholes are reading this."

This is the....4th? 5th? Gym he's been fired from in the last year. Every time there is some big post about how everyone hates him because he's so successful and so great at what he does. Lots of stuff about "haters".

So now, there are a ton of people trying to get him hired back, writing petitions, etc. My friends are pressuring me to sign it, write letters, etc. I think after that last post, he won't be hired back, no matter what. Everybody is directly against the director, who has been nothing but awesome to me and the kids. I'm getting e-mails about how anyone who doesn't quit is a traitor and a backstabber. The Guy sent me a message today that was "Hey, I hope you will help support truth, handwork, and veterans and tell the director you are withdrawing your membership if they don't let me come back." About 50 people are planning to show up at his class time tomorrow and just sit there and ignore whoever they bring in. He is definitely encouraging it.

It has been so hard for me to make friends, and I had a few who are now involved in this. So, my options seem to be 1. take part in this, that I don't even think I agree with, and alienate myself from the rest of the staff (who i like!) 2.Ignore (or don't ignore but don't help and explain why) and lose my friends

I'm feeling very pressured and kind of harassed. What would you do?

(right now, I'm leaning toward just ignoring everything. Continuing to go to a gym I like, that has stuff for the kids, and if I lose the friends, I guess I'm no worse off than I was a year ago)


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4485 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would not follow the others if it went against my gut feeling.

Nobody knows what really went on and IMO if he has been let go from 5 other places, something has to be going on.

I would avoid the drama, go to the classes you enjoy and be comfortable knowing you followed your belief.

Nobody has the right to bully you into an action you disagree with.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3800 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Bobbi_sue
♀ Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You asked what I would do. I would stand for what is right. I don't care how well he was "liked" or how much money he brought in. The guy has shown himself an ass and I would not support him in his belief he should remain employed in those circumstances. In fact, I applaud the Y if they stick with their guns and get rid of him in spite of the fact he may be a big draw at their organization, and may even lose clientele for firing him. I am not really a fan of "arrogant jerks." But they are fans of themselves and do get followers.

[This message edited by Bobbi_sue at 10:06 AM, May 1st (Thursday)]


Posts: 5741 | Registered: Apr 2006
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the phrase "Don't pet the drama llama" applies here.

If the guy has been fired from 4 or 5 gyms this year........ that says it all to me.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5384 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would ignore. Even if I did not agree with him being fired,his actions post firing are immature and arrogant.

As for your friends, I would say, I liked his class, but there is an opportunity now for someone who may even be better.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6583 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally I would disengage for a bit. Stay away from the Y for a week or so, and block this douche from your FB.
That is way out of line. If he's been fired multiple times there is a reason. If he can't get it together long enough to respect his superiors, and behave like a civilized person that's on him.

Let the smoke clear and then go back. If people ask where you were, tell them you don't do drama.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8489 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This guy sounds like a bushel full of crazy and drama! He is not your friend, he posted nasty things about his former employer (which will/can be seen by future employers) and eggs on drama with former class participants. Stay clear of him and his groupies.

If you lose friends because you do not want to join his drama then they were not real friends. This is your life and you have to stand up for what you believe in and not follow the herd. I know that you are a very strong person so you can follow your own beliefs and be proud of doing it.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1207 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((weatherly))

The Y is supposed to be a positive environment. If his behaviour was negative regardless of how great his class is, then he deserved to be fired. Workplaces require a certain amount of decorum. Being an asshole won't cut it.

I would stay out it. If questioned, I would tell people that the Y in general has treated you and the kids well. Since you don't know both sides of the story you don't feel comfortable making a judgement on the situation. Its easy to judge based on what we want personally, its much harder to view facts on both sides or withhold judgement because we don't know everything.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would not want to pursue a friendship further if it dragged me into this kind of mess. You know? Life is too short. I wouldn't want this guy working under me if I were the Y director, no matter how good his classes were. And putting this kind of pressure on you is not inappropriate. The fact that you're uncomfortable with it means the pressure is crossing a boundary for you. Trust that reaction.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4158 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Weatherly
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally I would disengage for a bit. Stay away from the Y for a week or so, and block this douche from your FB.

Thats a good plan. I won't even be in town next week, plus, if they are all boycotting the Y I guess I won't run in to anyone there. definitely not going tomorrow.


I would stay out it. If questioned, I would tell people that the Y in general has treated you and the kids well. Since you don't know both sides of the story you don't feel comfortable making a judgement on the situation.

Also good advice.

Even my husband and I got into a disagreement about this! He loves the guy. I really don't, I think the Y was right. I just liked being able to get in such a good workout by 9am.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4485 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
woundedwidow
♀ Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think Tushnurse's recommendations were spot on. Plus, the instructor's post-firing rants were unprofessional and, frankly, threatening. I can see how there may have been cause to fire him from 4-5 other gyms this year, because he seems to have a real anger issue with management. At this point, no matter what the other students/Y members do, there is no way that he's going to be rehired. That would be a total nightmare for management there.


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 378 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I have already taken the action I deemed appropriate." repeated ad nausem to anyone who asks you to sign, go on-line, bitch, complain, etc.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4802 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't get involved.

Most places of employment follow a set of protocols before terminating an employee, otherwise they can be sued. Verbal warnings, written warnings etc all need to be documented before terminating an employee. I doubt they did this lightly.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5067 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like a Narcissist to me. Talking about how great he is, how it's never his fault, always everyone else's, look how great I am!

People don't get fired 4-5x in A YEAR for doing nothing....


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3345 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like a Narcissist to me. Talking about how great he is, how it's never his fault, always everyone else's, look how great I am!

People don't get fired 4-5x in A YEAR for doing nothing....


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3345 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't worry about your gym friends, it sounds like this guy's ability to manipulate has a 3 month max. If they want to quit going to the Y and follow him around, they will quickly realize the error when he gets fired from the next place.

You are going to look like a genius when they end up back at the Y in 2 months.


Posts: 3388 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My goodness. I think your friends are far too invested in the staffing of the gym. I would just work out at home for a bit until the crazy dies down.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6726 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Topic Posts: 17

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