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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Suck it up buttercup!
Klove
♀ Member
Member # 42096
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had parent-teacher visitation at my school last night. There until 8. A big group went out for a drink after- which is very typical as the group is really social.
While out stbxwh texts and says "do you have a sec to talk?"
I text "not really- is it an emergency?" And he texts "no" so I text "ok- what's up?" And he texts "call me"
Grrrrr.
So I text "I'm out having a drink with work people- can it wait until tomorrow?"
Cue the ridiculous text blast. Then crickets from me. Then about 10 mins later. "I'm sorry klove. I shouldn't have been snarky and you have every right to enjoy your time. This is just really hard for me. It really hurts."

Oh- I'm sorry. Is it hard for you to see me doing something other than sit at home wallowing and crying over you? Pardon me for- ahem- LIVING!

What is up with that??????
Are they all that selfish? I don't want you- but I don't want you to have any fun without me?
Um, sorry!

[This message edited by Klove at 11:24 AM, May 1st (Thursday)]


"But stand still is all I did
Love like ours is never fixed
Still I stuck around
I did behave
I saved you every time
I was a fool for love
I was a fool for love"

Posts: 294 | Registered: Jan 2014
kiki1
♀ Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Too bad for him.

Hope you had a good time with your coworkers.

hugs,,,,


Posts: 553 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right on cue. I got the "it's so hard for me" and puppy dog eyes whenever I came back to the house. In house S meant he could corner me wherever, whenever because he needed to talk or tell me something about his day.

All the while I'm slowly dying on the floor.

When I stopped those chats he picked fights. WHO ARE YOU SEEING??? I'd respond that it was none of his business and we'd get into a screaming match. I would barely sleep from the stress and tension and I could hear him snoring his drunken head off at the other end of the house.

This is another Chapter on the Cheaters Handbook entitled "Wah Wah Boo Whoo - Poor Widdle Me".

FTG !!

Don't tell him what you're doing or with who.
He's no longer entitled to that info. If he says no emergency then crickets.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5534 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it hard for you to see me doing something other than sit at home wallowing and crying over you?

Yes, yes it is. As the BS, your job is to wait like a beaten dog, dontchaknow?!?

I got the "it's so hard for me" and puppy dog eyes

Y'all are lucky. I got screamed at on a daily basis, called the forbidden around here word ("c"), accused of having an A, and once, slapped around.

FTG! Lousy cheating sons of bitches.

Are they all that selfish? I don't want you- but I don't want you to have any fun without me?

Yup. That's how a good Plan B, er, ah, BS, acts.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 738 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Vunc: Well said and agreed. My WW asks if I have a girlfriend every other day. She says she don;t care but come on really?

Great....selfish and now crazy.


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, when my ex-wife FINALLY came to get the rest of her shit out of (what is now legally) my house, it just happened to be perfect timing that the SI G2G was going on that weekend. I didn't have to see her - my mom and sis manned the front on my behalf. I was very vague about what I was doing that weekend with her, just that I'd not be home that night. "Oh, what are you doing?" Me: "meeting up with some friends." Her: "oh." I didn't think much of it.

So, apparently at one point during the move, she asked my sister where I was. Her response was something like "not sure, he's staying in a hotel with some friends, or a friend, IDK." Apparently my ex's face was "telling."


"Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it.” ― Rabindranath Tagore

Posts: 971 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should have given him crickets after he said it was not an emergency.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Feb 2010
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For about 5 months after we separated, my exwh would call the kids to say goodnight. My kids were little and didn't have their own phones so he would call my cell. I usually just handed the phone over to them.

One night, I was out at a charity event and my mom was watching them. My phone rang and without even looking, I answered. He seemed surprised to hear my voice and said, "Hi. I just wanted to say goodnight to the kids." I said, "Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not home." It was a week night so he sounded surprised at that as well.

After that, the good night calls stopped. In fact, my kids never got a phone call from him on my cell again unless he texted me first to ask if it was a good time to call.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2763 | Registered: Jan 2011
DepressedDaddy
♂ Member
Member # 41521
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Come on Klove, don't you know that they hurt as much as we do?

So happy to hear that you were able to have a good time out with friends. You deserve it. He didn't and still doesn't deserve you.

BTW, His new nickname is Buttercup


Since divorce I have become DepressedDaddy 2.0 - or better known as DevotedDaddy

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for


Posts: 706 | Registered: Dec 2013
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9522 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's one for your stbxwh.

[This message edited by Gemini71 at 12:52 PM, May 1st (Thursday)]


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1651 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Klove
♀ Member
Member # 42096
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Y'all make me laugh. :)
Buttercup Sniffles Mcfucktool appears to be losing his cool.


"But stand still is all I did
Love like ours is never fixed
Still I stuck around
I did behave
I saved you every time
I was a fool for love
I was a fool for love"

Posts: 294 | Registered: Jan 2014
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should have given him crickets after he said it was not an emergency.

I agree with Whalers.

So I text "I'm out having a drink with work people-

This is no longer any of his business.
A better response would have been crickets or "I'm busy right now. Since it isn't an emergency, I'll get back when I've got the time."


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6359 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should have handed the phone to the coworker with the deepest voice, and had him/her mess with buttercup.

Deep voice: yup...we have your X at a club in the meat packing district. (Cupping the phone and yelling to no one, "no no no. Fill Klove's glass up with Larry's Leather Tamer".)
Klove (yelling back): make it a double!


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 660 | Registered: Aug 2013
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6359 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Klove
♀ Member
Member # 42096
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^ omg.

Sadly- I did think about calling him back as we were in a loud sports bar with plenty o' gents all around

Crickets from here on in- but I fucking felt like letting him know I have a life too that doesn't revolve around him!


"But stand still is all I did
Love like ours is never fixed
Still I stuck around
I did behave
I saved you every time
I was a fool for love
I was a fool for love"

Posts: 294 | Registered: Jan 2014
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The good people of this forum strongly advised me (in other words, 2x4'd me about the head & shoulders) that I needed to nix my ex's control of me post separation. I had to not be home a couple of times and even not tell my kids what I was up to a couple of times when they were with him, just to finally break him of the habit of knowing what I was doing at all times.

It is not easy to break free of their control, and it's even harder to break ourselves of bad habits, such as oversharing & Pavlovian-ish divulging of information simply because we are asked.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9522 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Klove
♀ Member
Member # 42096
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Understood. Will from now on crickets...
But I'm going to enjoy that 1 and only jab, ok?


"But stand still is all I did
Love like ours is never fixed
Still I stuck around
I did behave
I saved you every time
I was a fool for love
I was a fool for love"

Posts: 294 | Registered: Jan 2014
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did he have the kids?

Even if it's work related, you don't want him knowing where you are or what you're doing if you had to get a sitter.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Klove
♀ Member
Member # 42096
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he had them


"But stand still is all I did
Love like ours is never fixed
Still I stuck around
I did behave
I saved you every time
I was a fool for love
I was a fool for love"

Posts: 294 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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