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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Why would she care?
Linus1968
♂ Member
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ALERT!!! Back story. The kids and I have a little trip this summer to Salt Lake City. Visiting friends out there, church sites, we will be able to stay at friends to make it cheap. All excited. First family trip since 2012 MN trip. I never tell the CC what I do with them, only to ask if it is ok to take them when I spills over into her time. I give not details, just "can I have them till the 3rd", or whatever. I know she knows what is going on, bacause the kids will tell. I am completely ok with that. I never says "don't tell mom", ever. They can say whatever they want. But I am not the one who will be "see, we will do this and that..."
Ok, that being said, I am browsing SI, I get a text message. 9:56. A tad late, but I have a friend in the hospital, and the CC has the kids. The CC asked "What city are y'all staying in in Utah?". Is it just me, or why in the name of Mike do you care?!?!?!
Of all the trips she has had with the kids (and believe me, there have been several), I never ask, ever, never the kids, and NEVER her. I found out from FB that she tags my kids with pictures and end up in my newsfeed, or the kids let it slip. She got what she wants, freedom from me (almost done). It's just...what? Maybe it is me. But, just get out of my life. I got out of yours, now leave me alone...
Or am I the weird one?

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 16, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 241 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my X is the mayor (FL)
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know why she would care.... Maybe putting out bait in order to real you back into her drama?

Just in case check your paperwork, my agreement states if either of us takes the kids out of state, we have to notify the other parent of addresses and landlines where we will be staying. Not that he followed that, but he sure held me to it! I gave it to him as I was picking up the kids from him. This was after he did the same, I figure if he interpreted the agreement in such a way, I would also. He was a bit tweaked, was so red he resembled a parrot.

I wouldn't give her any information until you had to. Enjoy your vacation,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5262 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Control. That is all.

The sad clown took the girls interstate and did not inform me where they were staying. It is info we should both share but I can't make him tell me. So I won't tell him going forward.

I took them to my mums holiday house at Christmas (he knew because the girls told him - he knows where it is because he's been there) - yet he still grilled me about where I was and what I was doing.

WTFever. I don't have the time, energy or inclination to work out what goes on in that lower muppet head of his.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
deena
♀ Member
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have fun with the kids!!!

Is she feeling left out?!?

Too bad.

But like Kajem said it may be necessary to tell her. She doesn't need to know the places you will be staying at. She will have your cell number if needed.

I do know as a parent you tend to worry. And it is maybe nice just to know which general area the kids are in.


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 3049 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
Linus1968
♂ Member
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the divorce agreement, it only says we are allow a 10 day summer vacation as long it is approve by the opposite parent before finalizing flights and such, which I did. And, she has done that, too. One of her vacas, she asked if it was ok, which I said yes. I did not ask "wha'da you doin'?"

I had that put in the agreement, because the first year of separation, she wanted to send them to Alaska to her sister's place for the summer. (They went up there the summer before the separation. She used that to go party, but that is a whole other post) I said no, because she had her family, the OM, and the OC to keep her company, and I have no one. Plus, I wanted to be able to spend sometime with them in the summer. It eventually came down she could not afford to fly them up. I had no say in if they could go or not. I just did not want her to say "we are going on vacation," and I have plans on my days already, or have a say if they go or not.

The time during the separation, I walked on eggshells, because I did not want her to run to a judge and say how much I am a jerk and uncooperative I was. But, now it is almost over, I would like to say 'why? Leave me alone.'

Thanks, ladies. I thought maybe it was me.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 16, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 241 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my X is the mayor (FL)
Linus1968
♂ Member
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting, I did texted her early this morning, and told her what city and then type 'why do you ask?' to see what the answer would be. Nothing all day. Makes me laugh.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 16, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 241 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my X is the mayor (FL)
Linus1968
♂ Member
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, so she did answer me back a week or so ago. She said "Sue" asked about it. "Sue" is a mutual friend. Well, back when I announced the trip on FB, Sue posted we should get together. I said sure and jokingly said you'll have to clear it with my DD. So, Sue and I were already talking about it. I, also, mentioned we were staying in SLC on FB, so Sue knew that, too. Maybe the X did talk with her, IDK...but, it was weird Sue would ask her...

Which brings me to why I am telling you. I hope to make this real long, because...anyway...
When we split, I took the van, she took the Nissan (both cars has both our names). The van crapped out in Oct 2013 (180,000 miles...not going to complain...too loud). Well, she got a new minivan with OM, so I took the Nissan when that happened, took over payments, insurance was already coming out of my insurance (for whatever reason). I was rear-ended in the end of February. Everyone was ok, the airbags did not go off, but my trunk will not close. It is being held by bungee cords. The driver and I exchanged info. The insurance companies were involved. Well, the driver has failing to provide information to his insurance company, so now they are not going to fix it, which means I will have to pay the deductible and get it fixed. So, I get money to fix it, then my "Engine Soon" light comes on. Get it look at: $550. REALLY?!?!?! He says "bad sensor, but all of the sensors on the sensor panel have been tampered with." He said it was put together with "super glue". He said it was not just 'bumped". This is the first time my mechanic has looked at the Nissan. I ask the X who was the mechanic that did this "I only had the battery and tires fix on it." Ok, whatever. Why I expected the truth in my stupidity. So, the trunk is still bungeed down.
Also, remember, this is the same girl who, when I asked for her financial affidavit to see if the support she is paying me is fairly, went Hiroshima on me "you can't have more money. I am getting a lawyer. I am not paying anymore money until I talk to a lawyer" on and on and on. (a whole other backstory).
I get a text from her "What has State Farm said about fixing the car?" (State Farm is my insurance, not the other driver). WHAT??? Why would you care? I don't ask about your stuff going on, like when I saw old kitchen cabinets sitting in your front lawn, or when one week I saw a beat up garage door on the front of the OM's house and the next it was paved over, or new landscaping in your yard? I never asked once about all of that, to her or my children. Whatever I know is blurted out by the kids, or I figured it out. I just talk finances and kids...
Now, yes, her name is still on the car, but I am now the primary driver, and I am making the payments. So, maybe there is some interest because of that, somehow...but with the recent question about my summer trip, it is hard for me to think anything else.
I leave you alone. You got your divorce, you got your man, you got your life, now just LEAVE ME ALONE!!! AARRRGGGHHH

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

[This message edited by Linus1968 at 7:20 PM, May 15th (Thursday)]


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 16, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 241 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my X is the mayor (FL)
Topic Posts: 7

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