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Newest Member: Alaska77 (44743)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: A good friend of the marriage
NoGoodUsername
♂ Member
Member # 40181
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday, I had a friend do a fantastic job of showing what it means to be a friend of the marriage and to also discern right from wrong and take a stand. I'm so grateful to him that I want to share.

My BW is just starting to use Linked In (a professional networking site) and made contact with a friend that I used to work with. To her dismay, she found that my AP's husband, who was complicit in the affair, was one of his contacts. I had introduced them back when we were all friends.

I reached out to him with this note:

Sorry it's been so long since I've typed to you. In trying to clean up and rebuild my life and marriage I'm putting a lot of distance between myself and things from my life in [former city].

In that vein, I have a request for you. Would you be willing to cut out [AP's husband] and [AP] from all of your contacts? LiveJournal, Linked In and whatever else? I know that you don't see them, but I could use the support of knowing that you are willing to cut out people that were so toxic to myself and [BW].

If you think this is an unreasonable thing to ask, tell me so I'll know where you stand.

To my great happiness, he responded within minutes with this:

Dude,

I deleted those fuckwads from my Facebook the day you told me about all that shit going down. I'll check and make sure I don't have linkedin contacts with them


There were more messages that passed, he found and removed the errant contact and clearly came down in support of our marriage without rug-sweeping my role in the affair. I'm really grateful to my friend for his support and willingness to take a stand on a moral issue rather than not wanting to get involved.

He concluded with this and made me cry at work.

I have been, and always shall be, your friend. -Spock :-)



Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

Posts: 236 | Registered: Aug 2013
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is awesome.


I refuse to let a wound ruin me.

Posts: 2041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6097 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love that!


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4786 | Registered: Dec 2010
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very powerful true life example of how a friend of the marriage should be. Thanks for sharing this.

Posts: 6769 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 5

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