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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: A good friend of the marriage
NoGoodUsername
♂ Member
Member # 40181
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday, I had a friend do a fantastic job of showing what it means to be a friend of the marriage and to also discern right from wrong and take a stand. I'm so grateful to him that I want to share.

My BW is just starting to use Linked In (a professional networking site) and made contact with a friend that I used to work with. To her dismay, she found that my AP's husband, who was complicit in the affair, was one of his contacts. I had introduced them back when we were all friends.

I reached out to him with this note:

Sorry it's been so long since I've typed to you. In trying to clean up and rebuild my life and marriage I'm putting a lot of distance between myself and things from my life in [former city].

In that vein, I have a request for you. Would you be willing to cut out [AP's husband] and [AP] from all of your contacts? LiveJournal, Linked In and whatever else? I know that you don't see them, but I could use the support of knowing that you are willing to cut out people that were so toxic to myself and [BW].

If you think this is an unreasonable thing to ask, tell me so I'll know where you stand.

To my great happiness, he responded within minutes with this:

Dude,

I deleted those fuckwads from my Facebook the day you told me about all that shit going down. I'll check and make sure I don't have linkedin contacts with them


There were more messages that passed, he found and removed the errant contact and clearly came down in support of our marriage without rug-sweeping my role in the affair. I'm really grateful to my friend for his support and willingness to take a stand on a moral issue rather than not wanting to get involved.

He concluded with this and made me cry at work.

I have been, and always shall be, your friend. -Spock :-)



Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

Posts: 235 | Registered: Aug 2013
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is awesome.


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 2001 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6097 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love that!


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4689 | Registered: Dec 2010
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very powerful true life example of how a friend of the marriage should be. Thanks for sharing this.

Posts: 6552 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 5

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