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Wayward Side :
A good friend of the marriage

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 NoGoodUsername (original poster member #40181) posted at 2:58 PM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014

Yesterday, I had a friend do a fantastic job of showing what it means to be a friend of the marriage and to also discern right from wrong and take a stand. I'm so grateful to him that I want to share.

My BW is just starting to use Linked In (a professional networking site) and made contact with a friend that I used to work with. To her dismay, she found that my AP's husband, who was complicit in the affair, was one of his contacts. I had introduced them back when we were all friends.

I reached out to him with this note:

Sorry it's been so long since I've typed to you. In trying to clean up and rebuild my life and marriage I'm putting a lot of distance between myself and things from my life in [former city].

In that vein, I have a request for you. Would you be willing to cut out [AP's husband] and [AP] from all of your contacts? LiveJournal, Linked In and whatever else? I know that you don't see them, but I could use the support of knowing that you are willing to cut out people that were so toxic to myself and [BW].

If you think this is an unreasonable thing to ask, tell me so I'll know where you stand.

To my great happiness, he responded within minutes with this:

Dude,

I deleted those fuckwads from my Facebook the day you told me about all that shit going down. I'll check and make sure I don't have linkedin contacts with them

There were more messages that passed, he found and removed the errant contact and clearly came down in support of our marriage without rug-sweeping my role in the affair. I'm really grateful to my friend for his support and willingness to take a stand on a moral issue rather than not wanting to get involved.

He concluded with this and made me cry at work.

I have been, and always shall be, your friend. -Spock :-)

Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

posts: 275   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2013
id 6782897
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Ascendant ( member #38303) posted at 3:02 PM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014

That is awesome.

posts: 5193   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2013   ·   location: North of Chicago, Illinois
id 6782903
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BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 3:18 PM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014

WH - 49
BW - gerrygirl

posts: 6125   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Tri-Cities
id 6782926
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 3:19 PM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014

I love that!

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6782929
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LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 3:20 PM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014

Very powerful true life example of how a friend of the marriage should be. Thanks for sharing this.

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 6782932
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