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Newest Member: hurtinginatl (44610)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I took a Giant Leap
LdyD
♀ Member
Member # 42870
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A huge leap of faith in my WH. His EA was on Facebook. He deactivated his Facebook account 3 days after D-day. I told him last night that in order for me to allow him to gain his trust back, I have to allow myself to be vulnerable again and allow him to prove himself to me. So, I told him that he can activate his Facebook account again, but that I have a few conditions.

1) Total Transparency - Access to his account
2) Any Messages sent or received he needs to tell me about
3) Unfriend all females that are not family members
4) NO messages are to be deleted

He already gave me his login info and unfriended all non family females.

I told him that I have come to the point that I am comfortable with the idea of being a single mom if he fucks up again, we're done for good! No Exceptions! He says he completely understands and appreciates me allowing him to prove himself to me and says that he will never betray me again. I said I sure hope you don't, I love you and want to trust you again. So I'm giving you the rope, it's up to you how you handle the rope or if you choose to hang yourself (so to speak).


Me - BW: 43
Him - WH: 41
D-Day: 2/16/14
Married 11 1/2 years, Together 15 years
2 Daughters ages 10, 13
In MC since 3 days after D-day.
Attempting R with a seemingly remorseful WH

Posts: 106 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Virginia
LdyD
♀ Member
Member # 42870
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh and yes I am still scared, worried and anxious. But I feel it's time for him to put up or shut up so to say.


Me - BW: 43
Him - WH: 41
D-Day: 2/16/14
Married 11 1/2 years, Together 15 years
2 Daughters ages 10, 13
In MC since 3 days after D-day.
Attempting R with a seemingly remorseful WH

Posts: 106 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Virginia
SpotlessMind
♀ Member
Member # 41775
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LdyD--good for you. I struggle all the time with making myself vulnerable, and I appreciate how risky that feels. It's very brave of you to make this venture, and I think it's a great opportunity for your husband to demonstrate his new and improved boundaries.

Best wishes to you both!


fWS/BS--me
BH/WH--him
Married: 12 yrs
D-Day: October
Kids: yes

Posts: 277 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Where am I?
DTERMINED2SURVIV
♀ Member
Member # 42294
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think thats great! I too try to be vulnerable no matter how hard and mostly SCARY it is. Like you said, you wont be able to trust him if you dont allow him to EARN it. I really hope everything works out for you!




Posts: 270 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Where theres lots of southern HOEspitality
Topic Posts: 4

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