SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It was quite surreal.

There I was looking a complete mess in my leggings and t-shirt trying to mow the lawn with my flymo. The grass was too long and the lawn slopes, so it was a bit of an effort (US translation: really hard work).

I was mowing one particularly difficult patch (US translation: almost impossible & thought I'd break the mower trying) when a guy delivering the local curry house menus/recycling fodder stopped me. He offered to mow the rest of my lawn for me,for free because I seemed such a lovely lady. Body language made it clear he was interested in more than my lawn.

I was very British and made excuses until he left. I felt very awkward about it all. Firstly I didn't find him attractive at all (he was far too young, for a start!). But also, I don't see myself as available yet and felt a bit disturbed by it all: unsolicited attention from a bloke. And I was looking SO unattractive, sweaty/smelly...what was he thinking?

Sweaty and willing to mow the lawn? Sounds like a perfectly legit start to a description of an attractive woman...IMHO.

Take his flirting as a compliment and move on. Congrats!

Savor the moment. Good for you

Sweaty and willing to mow the lawn? Sounds like a perfectly legit start to a description of an attractive woman...IMHO.

Wish I had done it willingly...I was feeling shamed by the lovely lawns of all my neighbours. I must admit that mowing the lawn does make me miss The Arse sometimes

I agree with kg201. Something about a good-looking woman who's not afraid to work and get sweaty can be quite alluring. Enjoy the compliment!

I agree with kg201. Something about a good-looking woman who's not afraid to work and get sweaty can be quite alluring. Enjoy the compliment!

Wow, you learn a new thing everyday! Must remember that for when the D goes through

To be honest, one of the best things I ever bought was an electric lawn mower. My X started mowing the lawn from time to time because the electrics don't require the hassled of the pull cord on the gas powered mowers.

Any other attractiveness advice that you might need?

I'm not trying to be attractive just yet! I'm going to need a mindset change when it all goes through, though, aren't I?

The Arse and I met in my first year of university (US translation: college) and I've never done the whole dating scene. Scary territory ahead. But it's probably a step forward that I'm thinking about life post D?

Absolutely it's good that you are thinking about the future. I can tell you that I started dating early after dday for most SIers, but I have been seeing a women since November, and I don't know where I would be in my recovery if it wasn't for our relationship. She has provided an emotional stability. She is also in the process of divorcing and I have also been able to be a support for her. It has felt good to give and receive, like a healthy relationship is supposed to be. I have been lucky.

When you are ready you'll jump into it. (UK translation: "when you are ready to fall arse over tit for a guy." Please notice the lower case "a"...not your particular former Arse)

I remember that strange phase when I started noticing male attention again. I had not noticed anything but overt hit ons for almost a decade and my reflex had become to shut that shit down immediately.

I've even been hit on while carting rubbish to my apartment complex's garbage area in the midst of one of my rage cleaning sessions. When I got back into my place I walked straight to my bathroom mirror and laughed out loud. I looked like a hot mess.

All I'll say is you will get used to it again.

This is awesome! It keeps happening to me, too, and I was like SBB -- don't dare hit on me, I'm married, you scum...but in literally a matter of days now I will be 100% divorced, and then it's going to be...well, like open season. I'm kinda scared, actually.

Sometimes when it happens I'll think to myself, "Oh, I'm just imagining things," but then if it happens a second time I'll think, "I already knew that person was going to hit on me, I just wasn't admitting it to myself." Singleness after a long relationship feels really weird, doesn't it?

Singleness after a long relationship feels really weird, doesn't it?

Word.

You go girl!!!!

It's not unusual for us to get hit on when physically exerting ourselves and sweaty. I never understood the attraction, but I've been victim to it too!

I guess it's new to me because, well, I'm not a gym bunny (too boring and too many leery men, shudder...oh, wait, now I understand! ).

I always did martial arts and the discipline is such in those classes that flirting isn't tolerated, but I'm not into that stuff anymore. Maybe I need to find a new sport? I'm someone who doesn't like exercise to feel like exercise, it needs to be fun.

Rock climbing...and finding a climbing "partner" is half the fun.

Ooh, rockclimbing, good idea! I'll need to build my upper body strength...who am I kidding, I have no upper body strength But could be fun!

See that's one of the secrets of rock climbing, it's in the legs. Yes, upper body helps, especially in the hardest climbs, but without good foot work and strength, you'll get nowhere.

And unless there is a curry stand in the joint, there won't be any of your "type" to hit on you.

Hey look at it this way, you look good even when you think you are a mess!

I never got the sweaty mess thing either but have noticed men checking me out when I'm up front doing yard work too. Good to know though.

I know I'm just starting to notice when men are showing me attention because I spent 20 years avoiding it and ignoring it.

I'm not available yet either and it throws me through a loop when it happens.

I know I'm just starting to notice when men are showing me attention because I spent 20 years avoiding it and ignoring it.

Yes,that's it. And if they were overt I'd just mention The Arse or tell them I was married. It was a great way to shut people down.

Quite frankly, I don't know how to turn someone down when they're doing the whole 'interested, flirty but not actually asking me out' thing. It all feels very awkward. Any tips,anyone?