Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: ChaosRider (45729)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Got hit on today
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Flirting is a game. I see it is a way to make the other person feel better, so when I flirt (and this is something I have only learned in my older age ) I try to focus on statements that can only be perceived as positive by the other person. And the flirting is not necessarily meant to seek a longer connection. So for example, I like flirting with retirees in appropriate moments (checkout lines in the grocery store). I might make a comment about how I like a shirt they're wearing, or I might play off something they said in a flirty way.

So rather than worrying about the intent, and about whether you need to turn them down, just see it is a way to connect with another human being. Flirting is a connection. Enjoy the part about having a moment with another person.

Of course if the other person gets too personal, or begins to talk about body parts as they move into creepy flirting, then point your lawn mower directly at them and threaten to trim their "grass stems" down if they do not leave you alone.

Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 772 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You've still got it! It's a good sign of your healing that you're open to seeing it.

I've never understood getting noticed on days when I look random or am exerting myself. Maybe it's the pheromones?

I've been having some similar experiences and get confused by them. A friend of mine even flat out told me someone was putting the moves on me and I really didn't get it. My brain isn't used to going there.

I used to rock climb before I got married and just last night was thinking about starting back up again. I was in the best shape of my life when I was climbing and it really is a great way to meet people.

You build strength as you improve, so don't let that hold you back. Join a rock gym and take some classes.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 415 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
♂ Member
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You passed! LOL

Back when I was dating a little before I met the Skank, I used to joke with the ladies that I was dating that they would eventually undergo the "Wet Cat Test".

I ride a motorcycle... a LOT, so most of my dates involved a motorcycle ride. Often in the summertime in this part of the country, one encounters a thunderstorm.

Bad ones.

Inevitably, lady in question is going to get wet. Not just a little wet, but soaked to the bone. So I tell them they just took the "Wet Cat Test".

When they question that, I explain that if one were to take that beautiful white Persian cat from the cat food commercial on TV and toss her into a swimming pool, when that cat made it back to the side you would know without any doubt all you need to know about her on her WORST day. Drenched, cold, all of the frilly stuff gone, and highly PISSED OFF, if she still looks good and has a sense of humor about it... she's kind of special.

The guy saw you with the "Wet Cat" look, and still found you attractive. Take the compliment.

Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, looks like a theme is developing here....

I was putting down a tent and a group of lads started making comments about me, but not to me, just...a bit loudly about what they thought of me to each other. Then as they passed by, loudly started talking about needing lots of loo roll (toilet tissue)

I've been camping all weekend at a festival. Not one look, word etc from anyone, that I noticed, UNTIL I'm doing manual work type stuff.

I seriously had NO IDEA that this could be a THING with some men?

Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - passive aggressive, tt'ing, gaslighting...multiple EA's with different women (1 'proven') and at least 1 PA

Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him.

"Until God opens the next do

Posts: 1098 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
Go to :
© 2002 - 2014 All Rights Reserved.