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Newest Member: dunnoY (44984)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just when I was getting to a good place!
LeftOutintheCold
♀ Member
Member # 42856
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been doing really good these past couple of weeks with my healing and acceptance of my situation. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that my M is over, we are officially S, and I'm more than likely going to D him when I am financially fit to support myself. There's been NC since Easter and I've been okay with that.

Then, just a little bit ago, I received a text from him inquiring about the health of one of my family members. Why?!?!? It sent me into hysterical crying and refreshed my pain all over again. I kept saying out loud, "just leave me alone". All his actions clearly show me that I am no longer his concern and I've been doing as good as I possibly can at accepting that. Why send me a text out of the blue showing concern for one of my family members that he knows I love dearly???

My WH took me to see this family member over Christmas time as I know his health is failing and it probably was the last time I'll see him. Since dday, I've realized that even during this trip, WH was texting/sexting the OW (it's all clear to me now some of the little things that I found odd during that time...). Of course, his text to me today brought all this back and I triggered bad. I feel sick to my stomach.

Why, why, why in the hell did he have to reach out and ask me something that he knows I'm already upset about???? Why pretend to care when I know he doesn't??? What is the point???


Me - 42
WH - 40
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together over 10
Status - still separated

Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2014
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((LeftOutInTheCold))))

The healing process cycles; it's normal to have set-backs. And I am a firm believer that having the hurt come back is part of processing it and letting go. You think this means you aren't making as much progress as you hoped, but it's PART of the progress. You're getting there.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4173 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
LeftOutintheCold
♀ Member
Member # 42856
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Norabird!


Me - 42
WH - 40
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together over 10
Status - still separated

Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2014
justinpaintoday
♂ Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Left: u have come so far. You and I started on this site around the same time. When I think back to your earlier post I assure you you are stronger than ever before. It's okay to take a step back you're still taking so many steps forward. You should be proud of the progress you've made so far I can tell you I'm proud of you.


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
LeftOutintheCold
♀ Member
Member # 42856
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks justin - that means a lot!


Me - 42
WH - 40
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together over 10
Status - still separated

Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2014
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Norabird nailed it.
((LeftoutintheCold)


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He asked because he wants to be seen as the good guy who cares. Thing is, it's none of his concern anymore. He doesn't get to know. He doesn't get to cast himself as the caring family member.

Crickets to that self-serving BS. ((((Left))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25394 | Registered: Aug 2011
LeftOutintheCold
♀ Member
Member # 42856
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exactly!! He didn't win any brownie points with me!


Me - 42
WH - 40
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together over 10
Status - still separated

Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 8

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