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User Topic: Sorry I am Not Like Your Girlfriend (vent)
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not really. But, dear husband, I am not like your girlfriend aka T.C., It, or cumdumpster. I am not on call to fuck you at any time you want. Unlike it, who you would call the night before and it would be ready and waiting for you with its legs spread for you at the hotel.

When I am just waking up in the morning, I usually don't wake up horny. I am a slow waker. Playing with me for about 5 minutes whilst I am still sleepy usually doesn't do the trick, either. You had places you needed to be at today, so you wanted a quickie this morning, which I wasn't necessarily opposed to, but just needed some time.

Instead, because I didn't respond in the allotted 5 minutes, you act annoyed that I just didn't have the time for you. You get ready for your day and I can sense you are annoyed. When I say I would have fooled around, you respond "No you weren't interested" and act all hurt and annoyed.

Sheesh! Why do I have to feel like I let you down somehow? Why do I have to be ready at a moments notice? This isn't HB anymore. I am not your cumdumpster. I am a real person. It doesn't mean I don't want to have sex with you. It doesn't mean I don't love you.

Mind you, I don't turn FWH down for sex very often. He turns me down probably more than I turn him down.

Sorry I am not on call to fuck you at a moments notice. Maybe if you made a date for me at a hotel the next day I would be ready and waiting for you with my legs spread, too. (Not!)

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 11:50 AM, May 4th (Sunday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9793 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
LeftOutintheCold
♀ Member
Member # 42856
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cumdumpster. That made my day!!

Sorry you had a bad start to your day.


Me - 42
WH - 40
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together 11yrs
Status - Headed towards Divorce

Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2014
NowWhat106
♀ Member
Member # 35497
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, been there. I'm sorry you had to start the day like this and sorry for all of us that normal little things like this now make us think of how they got butt hurt and decided that some whore would appreciate their efforts more rather than dealing with life like grown-ups.

Before all this, things like he's a morning person and I'm not just seemed like part of the normal differences of two people living together. Now, like you, I'm reminded of how he turned his attention elsewhere. Sucks every day.

Good rant! Hope the day gets better!


Me BS
Him WS
LTEA with old HS GF from 25+ years ago
DD #1: 10/6/2011
DD #2: 10/21/2011
2DS under18
Status: We'll see.

Posts: 295 | Registered: May 2012
DTERMINED2SURVIV
♀ Member
Member # 42294
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had this happen too and its bullshit. Like you, we are very regular. He really wants for nothing but the FEW times it happens...jeez!

Then its like they dont get that these women are offering up sex like that hoping to steal him...and that 5 years down the line are going to be doing the exact same thing...not responding fast enough.


Hope your day gets better!




Posts: 271 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Where theres lots of southern HOEspitality
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please do NOT allow his selfish thoughtless behavior make you feel bad. It's not like this is a new relationship and I'm betting he knows you are a slow waker.
If he wanted to get some mornin nookie maybe he should have set his alarm early brought you some coffee and provided you the opportunity to wake up and pee first.

Don't bear guilt over his thoughtless behavior.
You deserve more.

Talk about it later when he isnt feelin rejected I can tell you part of R and my h healing himself has resulted in him going from being a good lover to an outstanding one I don't know if it's just healing or if part of it is maturity but he often puts my needs first to the point of not even needing to cum himself.

This is a chance to grow an better yourselves and your relationship. But it takes that pesky communication to get there.

(((( and strength)))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8687 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
betrayedpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 43304
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol guess what, I actually WAS a cumdumpster of a wife. i was featured in playboy magazine, wore all kinds of lingerie for him, I was always ready at his request, never denied him sex at all, let him watch porno and masturbate, tell him how hot he was, and he STILL cheated on me and left our family for a buck toothed barista who knows he's married and has a pregnant wife !!! When our spouses are scumbags, it does not matter how much you give them - they find excuses to want more since all they think about are " me! me! me! take! take! take! more, more, more ! Oh, you have a hole on body? Me want you!"

Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Hawaii
hopefull77
♀ Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahh sistermilkshake I love reading your posts. You have helped me in so many ways...
I used to call my H calendar boy since he always used to keep track of how many days went in between...I made a comment to him about this the other night after some nice lovemaking and he said ahhh those days are over...
we have not kept track since dday ...
I have no words of wisdom for you but when I feel myself feeling funky about this whole affair crap I just keep saying THAT WAS THAN THIS IS NOW...
sending you hugs
I wish you peace!


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 09-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 613 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Sister)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17785 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hopefully SI is not surrogate for you expressing to him some of these feelings.


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5123 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Hope2B
♀ Member
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh gosh, SMS, I always enjoy your posts, comments, and insights--thank you for telling it like it is for you.

Ya'd think that your FWH, at 50ish (?), would understand a bit more about how a wife works by now. Sometimes they just don't connect the dots. (ask how I know -- my FWH is in his 60s).


Me: early 60s
Him: 65 yrs old, LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth Days: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
His affair--says it was only 8 times 1x/mo, then found out it was 7 YEARS 2-3x/mo or maybe ever 4x/mo

Posts: 359 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
WinterBranch
♀ Member
Member # 42671
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMHO...it is truly OK not to be a cumdumpster...I support you in that. As with most dumpsters, they stink and are entirely unattractive, especially the day before trash collection.

Keep on, sister...we've all got a right to wake up first, brush our teeth first, whatever...poor baby didn't get his soother..WAH!


Me: Woman. In. Pain.
Him: Skittle-Sucking Toad and Con-Man.

Posts: 152 | Registered: Mar 2014
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sister, your post really struck a cord with me.

Since we have decided to R, & WH moved back home, I have been trying to do the "pick me dance"-----you know, be the perfect wife, always "ready."
(After all, the Slut was 20 years younger than I & had never had children, "was so 'hot' that all the guys at work wanted to 'do' her, but she picked WH", & was so willing to spread her legs for him.)

I am really exhausted. & you know what, that^^^ is not being true to myself.

Because if WH had an A because I was not "ready" enough at any hour of any day for him (I was working at a stressful profession, taking care of our 4 kids, our house, & going thru menopause---we had our kids late in life),
why didn't he first come to me & talk about it?

I am a human being. I am not perfect. I am in my late 50s. I get very tired sometimes. I am a woman. I need to be wooed first. I need you to talk to me first, so I can feel close to you.

Yep, just like you said, Sister:

So sorry I am Not Like Your Girlfriend


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Dec 2012
MissMouseMo
♀ Member
Member # 38562
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to know just who the hell decided that the stereotypical male arousal pattern was the "normal" one and the one we'd use as a measuring stick.

<Grrrrrrrrr>


It is the gut-wrenching, down-to-your-soul honesty that helps so much. ~paraphrased from CancunCrushed
"I edit, therefore I am." -BionicGal

Posts: 346 | Registered: Feb 2013
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SisterMilkShake, I understand. I never knew I was in a competition with the biggest *ho* in my life. She is my sister. We look a lot a like except for my scars that made me ugly enough for her.

I didn't realize that every time we had sex that I was competing against ALL OF THEM. I did not know. It was an unfair fight. My hands were tied behind my back with lies. I still gave MY BEST. I LOVED MY WH WITH ALL MY HEART.

Now I dare him. I'm not his minute ho like all the others. He had to step up his game to even get me and now he thinks he is all that???? NOT!!!! Can't deal with my pain and anger, get lost.

My WH worked my head. Let's just call him a con artist of his d*ck and ego instead of his wallet even though my WH's wallet greatly benefited from marrying me (workaholic to hide from my FOO pain). I'm not that easy nor have I EVER BEEN.

There is a reason he married you. You have an integrity that he will never have and wants so bad through you.

I like your kick butt attitude. I am taking notes. It takes more than buying condoms meant for a woman's pleasure.


BW (me): 41 WH (him): 49
Married 18 years. SD: 26 from his 1st. M. DS: 21 from 1st M. DD: 17 (autistic)
D-day: 10/4/13 with ongoing TT (last TT was 10/2/14).
2 OC with 2 different OW. 15 year A with my sister.

Posts: 320 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, May 4th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahh Sister, I love your posts. It's amazing isn't it? I remember these situations. If ws turned me down, it may have stung my pride a bit but not enough to throw me into a pouty puss (no pun intended) but omg if I didn't jump into it after getting a stiffy rubbed against my ass at 5 am, he was all butthurt and wounded with the widdle sad puppy look.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5130 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
OnAnIsland
♀ Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 4:28 AM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SisterMilkshake,
You have every right to feel like that and to say no. That is a terrible way to start the day, and with a little more care and attention, it could have been quite a different story.

How are you feeling today? Are things going better with your WH? Did you tell him how you felt?


D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou


Posts: 1479 | Registered: Dec 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought being 4 years out from d-day, I wouldn't still instantly be going back to thoughts and feelings about the affair. *sigh* I am definitely on the 5 year "plan", and I am having my doubts about the 5 year plan, too. (10 year plan anyone?)

Thanks all for your thoughtful words, kindness, support and hugs. You are always there for me. I am humbled as usual.

I can tell you part of R and my h healing himself has resulted in him going from being a good lover to an outstanding one
Wow, tushnurse, that is excellent. Do you have like 16 orgasms at a time now? (okay, I will be really embarrassed if you aren't the member who has multiple orgasms)
Talk about it later when he isnt feelin rejected
Definitely, and we did.
I actually WAS a cumdumpster of a wife
Please don't feel that way about yourself, betrayed. You were a GOOD WIFE, that loved to please her husband, not a cumdumpster. However, I can understand that you may feel that he did nothing to deserve you being such a good wife and that is how he took you for granted and didn't show his appreciation of you.
hopefully SI is not surrogate for you expressing to him some of these feelings.
Point taken, Edie. How did you know that I sometimes do that?
How are you feeling today? Are things going better with your WH? Did you tell him how you felt?
Yesterday actually was a wonderful day. Started out bad, but spent the afternoon with a bunch of lovely friends, some of whom I haven't seen in forever. It was fun. MisterSister called me a few times and was warm and loving on the phone. We talked in the evening. I misread what he was upset about, and he did have a point, as did I, though, too. Good thing is we talked. In the "olden" days we both would have just added this to our "List of Resentments" that we had about each other and built our walls higher and higher. No more walls!


[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 12:52 PM, May 5th (Monday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9793 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
veronique12
♀ Member
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad you were able to turn this around, Sister. It's so easy to get stuck in resentments instead of digging in to see what's behind them.

"Cumdumpster." Best name ever.


BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 540 | Registered: Jan 2014
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad you were able to reclaim your day, and your evening it sounds like.
You and MrSister have come a long way.

Oh and....

Wow, tushnurse, that is excellent. Do you have like 16 orgasms at a time now? (okay, I will be really embarrassed if you aren't the member who has multiple orgasms)

I don't know about 16, but lets just say I never go unsatisfied. I gave up on counting a Looooonnng time ago.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8687 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
abbycadabby
♀ Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((SMS)))

Posts: 1268 | Registered: Feb 2010
Topic Posts: 21
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