How are you holding up? I see you are just a few months out from DDay. How can we help?
I really don't have a lot of advice right now as I'm still relatively new to my pain as well, but I wanted to let you know I've heard you and I do feel your pain. Take some time to read the healing library (in the upper left hand corner in yellow) and be sure to take time for yourself. Eat, drink water, and try to sleep. Healing is going to take time. Post often. There is a great support group here!
[This message edited by RiseAbove22 at 8:37 PM, May 4th (Sunday)]
Its pretty weird that she can turn off 14 years in one day.
she did a really good job of acting and hiding this from me,acting like she cared etc.
I suspect that it isn't that she didn't love you or care for you. It is hard to fake that. I think that you will probably find when you look back on things is that she loved herself at the expense of others.
Take the time to look back through things see if you can detect when patterns emerged. This will be a part of your healing journey. The need to understand what signs you missed along the way, so that you are aware of them in your future whomever it may be with.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Leftoutinthecold i totally agree and know exactly what you mean about grieving for the person you once knew.
she up and changed so fast i don't grieve who she is now i feel sorry for her but i grieve the girl i once knew that was so happy and loving. i feel like she died or something.
[This message edited by needadvise at 11:21 PM, May 4th (Sunday)]
DDAY 4/17/2013 my father's anniversary death date.
2013 to present: TT big time
9 more women PAs all of our 17 years of marriage. Never had a clue until TT in the last year. Showe
I am so sorry you are going through all of this pain, but the truth is you did find out who she really is and the rose-colored glasses came off.
The best thing you can do for yourself now is to try to stay busy...find a hobby, volunteer, meet with friends and family, join a gym. Anything to get your mind off of the emotional roller coaster, even for snippets of time here and there.
You will get through this, one day at a time.
Have you checked out the Healing Library? Great resource.
For me the best revenge is living your life to the full, having fun, dating etc.
I've been betrayed, been exactly where you are, wondering where all the time we had together not real? I tried wrapping my head around it but in the end it was like a cord wrapped around my neck, choking all the joy and trust I had left inside..all for what? I let go. She did what she did, now it's over. I will not waste a single second pining or grieving over someone who showed me so little respect.
Let go and unburden yourself and start to live again. Good luck!
Tren0R201 i really try my best to not think of her but its very hard to just turn it off,i even dream of her,or nightmares really.
it was so sudden,learning how to live after 14 years with someone is
a difficult process,I'm used to sharing everything with her.
I'm pretty much a loner now,a one man wolf pack because all the years i was with her i pushed all my friends away and she was my world. now I'm trying to master being alone and working on getting to know who i am. to top it off i have a chronic medical condition so I'm unemployed and don't really have human contact except for a few family members.
justasinger i agree and have the same mindset about being with someone this soon,i can't take on a relationship til i know myself and can avoid bringing old relationship baggage into a new relationship. I don't know where i would meet someone anyway,
that is what is most depressing to me is that i know I'm gonna be alone for a long time if not forever.
i know she is not good for me and i would never trust her again.
i just have those days where one minute i absolutely hate her and 5 minutes later i miss her and want her contact or emotional support.
i am proud to say though in 3 months i haven't broke down and called or text her or asked her to come back to me,it makes me look weak if i do and it also sends her the signal that what she did was OK and its NOT!
Thanx everybody for your kind words….
I'm sorry you're facing this without a support system.
I know how much additional stress that causes.
Just wanted you to know someone understands how you feel in that regard.
Wishing you well. Hugs!
[This message edited by damnUnicorns at 9:29 AM, May 6th (Tuesday)]
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Your relationship was so long, you must be hurting bad. I pray that you will someday find comfort, peace, and the love you deserve.