Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
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Newest Member: asherssoul (45716)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
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Member # 43325
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(betrayedpregnant) thanx for your kinds words.
yea i had all those same things,the acting sweet,spending time together the holidays etc and now i think it was all acting which hurts. she played games and cheated for over 3 years and i didn't even notice between being so sweet and spending time with me.
she even lied to me about a job she had at 6 in the morning everyday just to spend mornings with him!
i don't know why today but its been a tough day for me,been feeling really crappy,being alone sucks. i feel like i had the best of my days the past 14 years and its gone. This is it…..i know thats not uplifting but its my mood right now…..

Posts: 112 | Registered: May 2014
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Member # 43334
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It so hard to imagine how it's possible to lead a double life like that. My WH seemed so normal with me. We laughed, had fun, told me how much he loved me, all the while living another secret life. It's so hard to understand.

I am so sorry you are going through this. This is a great site, lots of information and support.

Me: BW(45)
Him: WH (45)
4 kids
Married 22 years

D-Day #1 March 2002- 4 month EA and PA with co -worker
D-Day #2 March 2012 - inappropriate relationship with co-worker

In R

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2014 | From: New England
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Member # 43325
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes its very hard to understand.
mine did all the same things.
i spend so much time obsessing and thinking about it i have nightmares about it.
its always on my mind…always.

Posts: 112 | Registered: May 2014
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Member # 43325
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Posts: 112 | Registered: May 2014
♂ Member
Member # 25733
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

RA22, What is going on?

BH (me), 53
FWW (Her) 55
DD18, DS15
D-Day 12/23/2007
R going well

Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then --- Bob Seger

Posts: 326 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: East Coast
♀ Member
Member # 43453
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi RiseAbove-- I just found out my STBXH was cheating on me for ten years (even before our marriage with the same woman), so I completely understand where you are coming from. I am extremely new to this pain as I found out less than a week ago, but know that you are not alone... just knowing that makes it feel slightly better. Feel free to reach out to me any time, as your story is similar to mine.

Me: BS
Him: WH
Married: 4.5 years
1ds: 4 weeks
Dday: 5/14
OW told me/cheated for ten years with her


Posts: 135 | Registered: May 2014 | From: The Northeast
♂ Member
Member # 43325
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey guys whats up with you as well….im just trying to stay busy and keep my mind off of her….sux.
thanx for your kind words. my profile doesn't yet allow for private messages but when it does feel free to hit me up.
stay strong April,the very beginning is shocking,I've know for over 3months now and its still unbelievable to me…..

Posts: 112 | Registered: May 2014
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Member # 43325
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i wish i could get my post count up to PM with you guys….

Posts: 112 | Registered: May 2014
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Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you want to look at the one thing you might be thankful for out of this terrible thing, it is that her behavior and what you were blindsided with was so outrageous that you were spared all the TT and false R . I know someone else's misery cannot make you feel better, but look at all the agony some of your fellow SI posters are dealing with in even trying to find out what happened on girls trips, trying to be detectives to get information that affairs are stopped or ongoing, and the general misery of not knowing what to do.
Hang in there

Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi RiseAbove22,

Welcome to SI. I am so sorry you find yourself here with the rest of us BSs, but you will find a lot of support, help, & information here. It is very comforting to know that we are not alone, & to be able to process this trauma with others who know exactly how we feel.

I have been betrayed in both of my marriages.
In my first marriage (10 years, no kids) I was able to make a clean break, like you are. I walked away & started a whole new life. It did take some time to heal from the pain, but I was hopeful of being able to start all over again.

In my 2nd (current) marriage (25 years, 4 kids together), after months of detective work, trickle truth, & agonizing over the decision, I chose to try to Rebuild with WH, because I want to keep our family together.

In comparing the 2 situations, I have to say that altho both were painful, it has been much more difficult to R than it was to walk away.

I also want to say that I wish I had done more work on myself before I married again. I realize now that I did not fully heal the damage that was done to my self esteem from the infidelity in the first marriage.

Altho our WS's infidelity is not our fault, all of us BSs have a lot of work to do on ourselves in learning how to love, protect, & stand up for ourselves. That is why this site it so great----we can all help & learn from each other how to do this.

RiseAbove, I also just wanted to tell you that it really does get better over time. You will not always be in this much pain.

Sending you strength.

Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 7 mo. PA with COW;
Married 20something years with kids
Trying to R

Posts: 1445 | Registered: Dec 2012
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Member # 43325
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanx for that,its been tough lately.
I've been pretty down.
i hate this emotional roller coaster where one minute you feel like
you have it together and are optimistic and the next you are crying over nonsense like a song or something.
i hate heartless people. you give them everything thinking they are
loving and returning your love just to find out they are hurting and destroying everyone and everything around them.
i don't know what it takes besides time to get over such grand betrayal……it sucks really…...

Posts: 112 | Registered: May 2014
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Member # 43325
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

today is rough….i just feel bummed out missing her today.

Posts: 112 | Registered: May 2014
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