Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: lynnde (44729)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: First date tonight eee
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night I was almost too excited to sleep. As I lay there with my heart racing I realized that five months before I had a similar feeling of emotional overload while trying to sleep for the opposite reason--anxiety over my false R (which I didn't know was false). The stress gave me short-term insomnia for a month and if I didn't take a sleeping pill I just stayed awake all night.

That feels much more distant right now than I could have hoped for. I did hope for this, of course, but the pain was so thick for a while. Now when I go into JFO I feel so grateful to be away from the place where newbies are. *shudder*

The nervousness is a mix of excitement over the new person (who I am very much infatuated with, which I need to try and regulate to a certain degree) but also probably relates to a little feeling of disbelief. Like, am I really here? Am I really ready? I think having several men fall into my life recently means that I'm open to them--when I felt closed off and in full batten down the hatches mode, it didn't and couldn't happen. Now that I'm no longer crying my eyes out, and feel positive about the direction of my life and that what happened is just that, something that happened in my past, I am hopeful I am not rushing things. But of course I'm not entirely sure. We'll see. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4088 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"eeeeeee" indeed. It is good to see the progress we've made and how much healing is possible. Go slowly. Remember infatuation is a wonderful thing, but it isn't something to make decisions on. Have fun, discover, talk, flirt, be. Enjoy this feeling!

And be sure to let us know how the date goes


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3096 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Enjoy, norabird. And mind your curfew.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25059 | Registered: Aug 2011
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck, and have fun!!


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1126 | Registered: Jul 2013
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just try to relax and look at it as just seeing if he is worth a second date.

It took me a long time to just…relax…about dating. Things are going better now that I have learned to not look at each date so seriously. I just go and meet a new person.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4113 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
GreatRoleModel
♀ Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have a great time and do not put pressure on yourself. Just be your charming self


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 315 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have fun!


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
asurvivor
♂ Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Offer to pick up the tip and he will never forget you.


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 539 | Registered: Jun 2011
Artemisia
♀ Member
Member # 40564
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy for you norabird!

Don't forget to tell us ALL ABOUT IT, every last detail and thought! For those of us mostly living vicariously.


Posts: 112 | Registered: Sep 2013
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have a great time!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15383 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope the date goes well and good luck. Enjoy yourself!


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 1951 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
getnbtr1
♀ Member
Member # 40540
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, May 6th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can't wait to see your update. Hope its a fun date and that you enjoy Good luck!!

Posts: 93 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: CT
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:10 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gosh, I knew I used to like dating! And I still do, apparently

Despite being a sweaty anxious mess all day, as soon as I met up with him I felt calm (as I knew would happen )

He texted an hour and a half before we met, which I liked -- 'no plans to stand me up right?' I know, not exactly a declaration of love, but flirtatious. And it was good to see him again and to sit and talk more. We had two drinks at the bar where we met, and then moved to a restaurant next door to get food two and a half hours later. Then we went to yet another bar for one more drink after. Lots of talk about politics, some about family too, and some teasing of me on his part. That is flirtatious but also could be eventually bad.

I like his seriousness about social justice even though I tend to be more involved in the arts/culture scene than he is, while my social justice involvement is kind of middling. I think he could inspire me to make some changes in life that I would like though, like becoming more vegetarian.

There was definitely a flirty vibe all night. We talked really easily and well. He kissed me goodnight....a long kiss. It was, um, great.

I think we will probably meet up again (I already know what I want the next date to be!). It was good to connect with someone new. I did think about my ex slightly on the walk home, after meeting a sweet stray kitty and thinking of how exWBF took in another stray off our street a year ago, but it was pretty much just a huh type memory. So that's good.

Now I just have to keep my curfew on the next few dates!

For those keeping score, he paid for the drinks at the first bar, I paid for about half of the meal after (my idea), and I paid for the drinks at the last bar (still my idea.). I think we earn about the same and I didn't want to let him pay for it all. But I do want to see him again for sure.

And I know....there's life after the Supposed Soulmate Oh Wait You Did What?! A LOT of life free from him! It is freeing to start feeling this. And the cute guy doesn't hurt at all

I know tomorrow the feeling of wondering and waiting will probably set in, but right now, I'm happy. What will be, will be.

Thanks to SI for being a place where I can go on this journey, from the pain of the ending to the excitement of the new beginnings, with so much support. I am so grateful for having had this place as I have walked my path and continue to turn here for strength and validation as it wends forwards and backwards.

[This message edited by norabird at 1:11 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4088 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay sounds like it was a great first date! Actually sounds more like my typical second dates. My first dates are usually more awkward. So that's great

As my friend told me though, be careful to not get so caught up in the newness that you overlook things.

Good luck!


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1126 | Registered: Jul 2013
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fantastic norabird! Glad to see you be able to let your hair down and enjoy yourself.

And (sigh) I suppose this is excellent advice from Lonelygirl10 too

As my friend told me though, be careful to not get so caught up in the newness that you overlook things.

We do have to keep ourselves in check, but damn, I'm happy and excited for you. Hopefully a second date in your future?


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 1951 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
curiouswiz
♀ Member
Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations Norabird! I'm so happy for you! I want to thank you again for being there for me too...

If it wasn't so early I'd raise a glass of wine in a salute to New Beginnings for you!


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 633 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
asurvivor
♂ Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you should send him a text today that says,"you are bacon me crazy."


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 539 | Registered: Jun 2011
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like a fun time


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4113 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad you had a good time, nora.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25059 | Registered: Aug 2011
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alright norabird! No matter where this goes, you know there is a life after betrayal. Not to be "that guy," but do be careful like Lonelygirl10 said. You're obviously an insightful and intelligent person, so I think you'll be just fine.


“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

Posts: 974 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 29
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.