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Newest Member: SC619 (44924)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: First date tonight eee
Angeles85
♀ Member
Member # 42107
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay a happy post!!
Happy for u Nora

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Los Angeles
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Squeeeee! Of course you will keep your head about you, be smart about how you proceed, but isn't having a great first date a very wonderful squee worthy thing?!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3128 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone

I think you should send him a text today that says,"you are bacon me crazy."

asurvivor, if there's a second date (fingers crossed) I am totally using this.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4158 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, I ended up emailing him the day after the first date after he sent me an invite to join the organization I met him through (I had signed the sign-up sheet at the time). I wasn't sure if it was too forward, but, that's who I am, so I did it. He didn't respond on Wednesday and Thursday and last night I was literally in tears--over my tendency to get too invested, over my fear of having a fatal attraction to the very wrong kind of person, just a lot of self-criticism and unexpectedly intense feelings over this going nowhere.

And then he emailed this morning.

Clearly I need a lobotomy and a more relaxed attitude and thicker skin!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4158 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
LearningToRun
♀ Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcoming-insecurity-in-relationships/

I read this a lot to calm myself down. :) In fact, i probably need a refresher.


Posts: 261 | Registered: Feb 2011
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LearningtoRun, this is EXACTLY what I needed! Thank you!!!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4158 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This, for me, was the hardest part of learning how to date again. Letting go of the outcome. Full of fear, triggering and self doubt over a date.

I can't tell you what the turning point was, but when I started to let that go…my dating became much better. I was able to let the people go that shouldn't be in my life because they didn't deserve it.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4140 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't tell you how nice it is to know I'm not the only one who does this. Over and over again. I am learning how to let go and let things just "be" and unfold, and I have to practice that over and over and over again.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3128 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Red Sox Nation
♂ Member
Member # 26358
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Clearly I need a lobotomy and a more relaxed attitude and thicker skin!

You don't. Just enjoy the ride. The relaxed attitude and thicker skin is for if it fails.

Experience, hopefully, will tell you if he's truly right for you if it doesn't fail.

The only negative would be in not overcoming that nagging desire to protect your own ego and reject him before he rejects you. That's what made yesterday and Wednesday so difficult.

When you've learned to separate real needs from ego needs, you're most of the way there.


When someone tells you who she is, listen; when someone shows you who she is, listen carefully.

Posts: 1869 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 29
Pages: 1 · 2

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