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Newest Member: Dreamalittle (44740)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Get tested!
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello all,

I just want to make a PSA. Please, if you haven't done so already, get tested. I was sooo nervous about it and thought that I would for sure find out that I had some soft of STD from my WW. Well.....the results came back NEGATIVE!

Even if they had come back positive, I would have been diligent in my medical care to be able to take care of myself the best I can. Knowledge is power. This is just another way to feel empowered.

So, GET TESTED!


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Separated - living apart

Posts: 103 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes!!


Even if your WS tells you it was "only" an EA...or "just" kissing....even if they tell you they used a condom.


You have just found out your spouse has done the unthinkable. They've cheated. You can not trust your health with someone who has shown blatant disregard for your well being. You owe it to yourself, to your family and friends, to make sure you are physically ok.


I know you want to believe them right now. But you can't. The one thing you can trust is that they have been lying to you. Are they still? Maybe. Maybe not.

You must take care of yourself. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed. this isn't your shame. You didn't do this. The doctors and nurses will be kind and respectful.

Do it. You're worth it.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7321 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Chinadoll30
♀ Member
Member # 43131
Angry  Posted: 7:36 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I should get my results tomorrow or Friday. I fear for WH's safety if I am positive for anything.


"We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means 'I survived'." -Chris Cleave

Posts: 266 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Philadelphia
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just got my results...all negative too. Thank god. I would have gone nuts on him.

Posts: 103 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay for negative results, knockeddown and raspberry!

Chinadoll - sending you negative results mojo. ((((hugs))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25071 | Registered: Aug 2011
krsplat
♀ Member
Member # 43242
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was difficult for me, so humiliating, but the good folks here on SI "encouraged" me into it. The relief was huge.


Me & WH: 48, married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus multiple ONS
Status: Back on the coaster. Who knows?

Posts: 326 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Virginia
Tammy1
♀ Member
Member # 43280
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just got tested today, 4 weeks after d-day. It was awful and embarrassing, but I needed to get it done. I'm just angry that WH seems so certain that OW didn't have any diseases.


BW: 40 (me)
WH: 42 (him)
Married 17 years
3 kids
D-Day: 4/7/14, 9 month LTA
Together- trying to R

Posts: 65 | Registered: Apr 2014
Scubadoo
♀ Member
Member # 43079
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It took me six months to get the nerve to get tested. Thank God they were negative. Yet, I have to go back in 6 months for follow up HIV. How humiliating is that. The crap I have to go through because my husband could not keep his pecker in his pants.


BS (me) 42
WS (him) 48
OW (downgrade) 48
Married 11 yrs
DS 9
DD 8
D-day 10/27/13
8mth

Posts: 93 | Registered: Apr 2014
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree. Get tested. WH and I had ours done at the same time (same doctor). When I told him that we needed STD tests because WH had numerous affairs and a 3 year A with my sister, he chewed WH out. Gotta love small town doctors. The doctor was really gentle with me with only blood tests, but informed WH that he was going to go through more thorough testing since it wasn't my fault he couldn't keep it in his pants. After some in depth swabbing and blood tests, the doc referred WH for a prostate exam. The doctor that did his prostate exam had the largest hands I have ever seen.

Even with a negative result, I still insist that he wear a condom when (if) we ever have sex again. While I am willing to risk getting my heart broken again, I am not willing to risk my life to do it.


BW: 41
WH: 48
Married 18 years. SD: 25 from his 1st. M. DS: 20 from 1st M. DD: 16 (autistic)

D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.


Posts: 277 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
JustWow
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We both got tested and turns out we both got souvenirs from his excursions in hell - 3 different STI's from his little petri dish of a whore. All treatable, thank goodness, but GET TESTED. Most things can be treated, and early treatment on some of these can make the difference in the long term effects on your health.


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3612 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
LAFA
♂ Member
Member # 31868
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very good post, knockeddown! The embarrassment is nothing compared to the possible repercussions of ignoring the possibilities of a serious illness if the POS engaged with a diseased skank of either gender. Above all else, be good to you!!!


When you put someone on a pedestal, they quickly learn two things. The view is mighty good from up there, and it is a fine vantage from which to kick.

Posts: 183 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hawaii
Strangefacade
♀ New Member
Member # 43394
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. I agree.
I am now std positive after 10 years of monogamy.
And my son, 3 months, likely is too. If I had known about the affair earlier, I could have elected to have a csection so my son would not be exposed.
I hate wh today.


I'm strong again. That's the only reason you choose me.

Posts: 30 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Mi
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Strangefacade))))

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with what sounds like the deepest, most gut-wrenching pain imaginable. I have no words to express my empathy for you, just virtual hugs.

(((((Strangefacade)))))


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Separated - living apart

Posts: 103 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
marlie2014
♀ Member
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with this. And yes, it is very painful to find out that you have been given a STI. Or two. Or three. Devastating.

Tomorrow I get yet another test, to examine what my treatment options are.

And yet, the STBX doesn't understand why I hate him so much?!?!? Same as the earlier poster -- after all these years of monogamy and marrying him as a virgin, now I have to deal with this.

I suppose I should be happy I don't have HIV.


BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)
DIVORCED AND FREE!!!!

Posts: 211 | Registered: Oct 2013
BuckeyeBlues
♀ New Member
Member # 43373
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out about the affair a week ago, and have already been tested for some STD's and HIV. All negative. WH got tested this morning; we'll have his results by Friday. We'll have to go back in 3 months for followup to the HIV testing, and then we would be clear...


Married for 19 years
Me: 43, BW
Him: 53, WH
2 teenagers
D-Day: 5/7/14
Taking it one day at a time...

Posts: 21 | Registered: May 2014
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got tested the day after Dday. Turns out we were both good. But she has Bacterial Vaginosis (she disclosed this to H after she landed on my doorstep to out the affair) and told H he probably gave it to me. A day later I got a facebook message from OW.

“Your an amazing women that deserves better. Who knows who else your H was cheating with. I WAS WATCHING MAURY AND THERE WAS A GIRL ON IT WHOS HUSBAND WAS CHEATING AND SHE ENDED UP HAVING SOMETHING DEADLY.”

And yes. That is EXACTLY how the email was written. I didn’t keep it but I remember it because I thought, “Ugh, what a f*cking moron.”


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
feelinglost360
♀ New Member
Member # 43419
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I just got my test results back.....He did give me something , thank god it's treatable! But now I know this isn't his 1st time cheating on me cause we haven't had something sex for 3 weeks. I am so pissed off right now!


Me - 36
WBF - 33
Together 23 months - no kids together
DDay 5/10/14 - ONS w/ 2 escorts - threesome

Posts: 14 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Seattle
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((feelinglost)))) I'm so sorry, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25071 | Registered: Aug 2011
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feelinglost360 - I am so sorry to hear that. Thank goodness it's treatable! It is pathetic what they do to us, isn't it? I mean, toss the vows out the window and insert gonorrhea. :(


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Separated - living apart

Posts: 103 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
AttemptStrength
♀ Member
Member # 27947
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The FDA in North America is adding better testing for HPV.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/hpv-dna-test


BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS

I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.


Posts: 1992 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Wisconsin
Topic Posts: 20

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