She currently makes a little more than me income-wise, so I don't know if that makes a difference. I also do not know if she wants the designation of custodial parent, although I feel like she does. I just want to have my thoughts processed before I go into that discussion.
What are your thoughts?
Saying that, in the 8 years I have been D I have not had to make any serious decisions regarding DD's school, health, or any other issue that would be covered by legal custody. That is, she has not had any serious school, health, or legal issues for which I had to make any decisions (I say "I" instead of "we" because X is not involved in her life)
Did you ask the L what they see as the benefits of being named the custodial parent?
So I imagine that is the sticking point for one parent ultimately being designated as "primary residence".
Also if your state ends CS at 18, who claims your kid thru college. In my state, unless it is addressed in the MSA, in one tax deductions revert to the custodial parent. Even in a 50/50 situation.
Hope this helps.
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
XWH did not want children to go to counseling. I said, I have the final say and they are going!
He didn't want son to have braces. I have the final say, son got braces.
He didn't think other child needed speech therapy any longer -- even hounded the SLP with phone call after phone call. I have the final say, child got speech therapy.
He wants OW to be on pickup at school, I have the final say and SHE IS NOT ON THE LIST.
I THINK the custodial parent can move across the country with the child with only 30 days notice.
If XWH wants to buy your child a sports car, you want to be able to say NO.
Custodial parent claims child tax credit, the child as an exemption and can claim the earned income credit (I got 5,000 tax credit for this).
What if your XWW decides to put your child on ADD meds or any other meds or doesn't take your child for tests for allergies, etc etc. You want the final say.
Good luck! In SC it no longer goes to the Mom automatically, so maybe in your state you will get this.