We had a date day yesterday and found two moments that were boundary-related.
During the day, my H went into a wine store. I was walking around the store and I soon heard him talking about an upcoming city run with the female clerk. The convo wrapped up quickly and she asked if she could help him. I heard him say, "Sure. LA, could you come here and see what you might like." We both picked out a couple wines/we left. I made a note to ask him who initiated the run convo.
Then last night we stopped into a pub for a quick chat after a class we took. The waitress came over. We were joking about the stop being a biz expense and there was a pause and the attractive female server said, "What do you do for a living?"
I actually thought it was inappropriate. He answered her and then quickly gestured to me and gave her my (made up) title which she thought was "cool".
We talked this morning. I asked who initiated the run covo. He said: Well, she was talking to another guy about it and then I added a few words when he left. He said that he did not feel it was right to talk about running in the NYC as that would be opening up too much. He said he also realized I was not in view and that is why he called me over to pick out some wine.
With regards to the server, I just explained that this is how the "familiarity" gets started. Next time she sees him, she can say, "I would love some advice on abc."
I pointed out that these seemed like innocent moments BUT its really impt. to keep our boundaries tight. I explained that when I am in a store and a guy is holding up two sweaters, I would not approach him with my opinion unless he asked. I would answer politely and then move away.
We are reading NJF and the whole walls/windows thing.