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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: OM wins...I'm done.
♀ Member
Member # 42956
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you, SWAT. Take as much time as you need. We'll see you when you're back.

Posts: 104 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: United States
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take some time. Gain some distance from SI and your W.

Good steps. I told you earlier, but it may have been drown out, it is good to take a step back and evaluate. It is also very good to take two steps back and not be a BH for a little while too. BTDT.

Take care of yourself. None of us are going anywhere. You know where to find us.

Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.

Posts: 2570 | Registered: May 2010
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, June 21st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you SWAT.. Please don't let this consume you entirely. I just read your apology thread in general and see that SS17 has posted a heartbreaking and scary event. Please know we are all here for you...

Don't give up...

divorced the Dooosh
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.

Posts: 3630 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SWAT. Sending you my very best wishes, strength, and hope. I know it seems so very dark right now, but I promise the sun is always still shining, even on the darkest of days. You will find it again. Your kids need you. They love you and you want to be a part of their lives. It's time to fight for you. Our stories are all different, but we all understand the pain of this. Hang in there, buddy. Better days are ahead. I promise!!!!!

[This message edited by StillStanding1 at 1:14 PM, June 21st (Saturday)]

Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 738 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
♂ New Member
Member # 43708
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Swat I hav followed and damn man you hav been through hell and not even back. Hav also seen her posts. You guys hav the worst or best of problems. You both are completely in love with each other. Yes she really really screwed up. You hav every right to divorce I would to. But keep talking, maybe after the ashes of this marriage burns out. Something may rise up. You are one hell of a good man.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Tennesse
♀ Member
Member # 42986
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you, Swat. Please, please take care of yourself.

Me: BW 40
Him: SAWH 40
Together half our lives.

Posts: 98 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: North Carolina
♂ Member
Member # 33212
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well Swat I do know you are in the hospital.

And I am praying that you get the strength to get well in body and soul.

I mention your soul my friend because I think your wife is just beginning to realize just what a "betrayal" she has really performed on you, herself, your marriage and family.

But that my friend is no reason to kill yourself by having a damn heart attack.

So get well.

Get rested.

Stop killing yourself and make a promise to yourself that this nonsense will not kill you. Decide that you will not let it change you.

You have your kids depending on you. But the real reason is you owe it to yourself to prove to everyone that this crap will not destroy you.

You are tougher than that.

Your SIL sounds wise SWAT. I hope you will listen to her.

I married into a crazy family as well so I do truly understand.

And if you ever need some onsite support just PM me. I do not think we live that fara away my friend.

So be still. Listen to the doctors. Get out of the hospital.

And start living life again. You deserve it.


Posts: 970 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New York
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But that my friend is no reason to kill yourself by having a damn heart attack.

SWAT is not "killing himself." Heart/blood vessel disease is multifactorial. The LAST thing he needs is to have more responsibility for this horrible situation heaped upon him.

He is ill. He is in pain. He did not CHOOSE either of these things. Even suggesting he's "killing himself" with this illness is unfair. And there is already too much unfairness in life after infidelity.

(((SWAT)))), you are in my prayers. My stbx has a long family history and a long personal history with heart and blood vessel disease. Our kids and I have been on this rollercoaster for many years--and still ride it with him, divorce notwithstanding. It is incredibly difficult. And I know that it's even more difficult for him. Y

You've faced mortality before. This time, it's not just a matter of healing from injuries.

That's why the one thing I would ask, gently and sincerely, is that you reconsider taking actions that are against medical advice. You will not always feel the way you do now, and it would be a terrible shame if decisions made while feeling so awful were to impact your future health. If there is a family history of heart and blood vessel disease, get as well-educated as you can. Your lifestyle is only one factor contributing to your health; be open to other changes that can help you stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible.

Also know that a scary event like the one you experienced, even when you're in a good place emotionally, can trigger a grief process that can be really unsettling. Given that you are already grieving, please be extra-gentle with yourself. If it seems like it might help, know that there are really great support groups for young men with health conditions that are more common among older men. (I bring this up because it was very difficult for stbx to be the only guy in his 30s in cardiac rehab, and it helped to find people who were closer in age.)

Millions of hugs and prayers to you and yours.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9019 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♂ New Member
Member # 44185
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


[This message edited by SI Staff at 12:08 PM, July 21st (Monday)]

me WS 39
him BS 42

Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: California
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