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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dealing with flirts
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How to cue my fWS when I'm not comfortable with a situation without showing a lack of faith? Snappy comebacks for annoying drunk girls who say "don't worry, I'm not trying to flirt with your man' while flirting with my man?

One last thing: We aren't married yet, so he's not wearing a ring (I call him my fWS for convenience - but we've been together longer than most of my friends' marriages).

Any advice and zingers welcome!

I dunno where you hang out that drunk chicks slobbering on your husband is a recurring issue but my first suggestion would be a venue with fewer drunk chicks. Drunk people are stupid. You can try to fix that with a snappy comeback but it will probably just escalate and then 20 minutes later you're panting next to a bloody dumpster out back trying to figure out what happened to get you from some drunk chick saying that to you standing there covered in blood with a half dead badger in one hand and an unidentified, disembodied foot in the other hand.

If he has swarms of women wandering up to chat while playing with his hair, standing in his personal space, touching his arm, etc then he can do what the rest of us do - treat her like she's a little strange and don't assume she's flirting. I mean I have thrown change at people and bolted from the store before but that's not something I make a habit of.

"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7576 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We (FWH and I) rarely go to a bar. However, we run into drunks quite often. When we are up North at our lake house, there are a bunch of drunks (male and female) that it is almost impossible to completely avoid as we belong to an association and we have to use common areas. We have had interactions with these drunken *women* ( R forum ) Every. Single. Summer.

BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my husband does not flirt. But what he does is stands up his peacock feathers. It's quite a scene and I hope someday to video it so he can see it. I'm sure he has no clue when/if he does it. But the mannerisms are discernible. It's kind of funny actually.
and heartbreaking.

right after my affair when I was in the fog I noticed myself locking eyes with men. ugh.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

However, we run into drunks quite often. When we are up North at our lake house

Solution is right there. Throw the bitch in the lake. Done.

"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7576 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To be perfectly honest, I would consider a change of scenery.

My husband is not particularly flirty himself, but has a terrible time recognizing when women are flirting with him, versus being nice and polite. But, he does not have a constant stream of women approaching him while he is out alone, or drunk slutty girls hanging all over him telling me that they arenít flirting even though they clearly are. Why? Because we have both made the choice not to hang out at bars alone. If he goes to the bar or somewhere for drinks, I am usually with him. If not me, then he is with a few friends (who are also married/in serious relationships and have good values). We donít stay til closing, we donít go to the club, and if there is someone looking drunk and single in the bar, we donít present ourselves as available. Iím not going to lie- changing our socializing habits has helped.

I leave my husband to deal with flirty women appropriately. While I donít want him to bitch slap anyone, he knows that he is to shut them down immediately by letting them know that he is married and unavailable.

The ONLY time that I handle flirty women is when the flirty woman is a waitress. And then I let her go. I will let her flirt with my husband right in front of me, touch him, giggle, whatever it is. He doesnít flirt back, and I generally say nothing. Then, towards the end of the meal, I ask to see her manager- where I explain the rude service I received. Both of us are customers, she blatantly ignored me and focused on my husband the entire time and flirted with him right in front of me. Whatís more- I pay and donít tip.

I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 25
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