I can not quiet my mind, it has been going crazy this last couple of days. Question after question about what I want, not about WH but me. I can't answer any if them. This is what I know.
1. I am miserable, physically and mentally miserable.
That's about it. I go from robot to crying heap and have anxiety attacks every day now. I can't analyze this or understand this and I feel helpless. There is no good answer R or D sucks.
Since DDay I have wondered either way what does it teach my DDs, because if either of them were in my shoes I would be telling them to run for the hills.
Today I get the kicker though, my DS comes over and tells me that he is leaving for a couple of days because he can't stand his wife. I try to tell him that he is chasing an impossible dream if he thinks marriage is easy or that any two people are 100% compatible. He answers "I would rather be alone the rest of my life than ever end up being like you or dad in marriage." Ouch! Yesterday he told me "Dad will never get it and you will never get over it so get D already." I told him that maybe WH would get it and do the work and be someone that deserves me and he said "Ya and maybe tomorrow unicorns will fly out of my butt, he has never deserved you."
I just need a mental vacation, I need my head to shut up. I need to quit crying. I am such a mess right now, can't last forever though.
Done venting, just had to get it out.I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.
BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo