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User Topic: Just a bad day I guess
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can not quiet my mind, it has been going crazy this last couple of days. Question after question about what I want, not about WH but me. I can't answer any if them. This is what I know.

1. I am miserable, physically and mentally miserable.

That's about it. I go from robot to crying heap and have anxiety attacks every day now. I can't analyze this or understand this and I feel helpless. There is no good answer R or D sucks.

Since DDay I have wondered either way what does it teach my DDs, because if either of them were in my shoes I would be telling them to run for the hills.

Today I get the kicker though, my DS comes over and tells me that he is leaving for a couple of days because he can't stand his wife. I try to tell him that he is chasing an impossible dream if he thinks marriage is easy or that any two people are 100% compatible. He answers "I would rather be alone the rest of my life than ever end up being like you or dad in marriage." Ouch! Yesterday he told me "Dad will never get it and you will never get over it so get D already." I told him that maybe WH would get it and do the work and be someone that deserves me and he said "Ya and maybe tomorrow unicorns will fly out of my butt, he has never deserved you."

I just need a mental vacation, I need my head to shut up. I need to quit crying. I am such a mess right now, can't last forever though.

Done venting, just had to get it out.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Dad will never get it and you will never get over it so get D already."

My ds tells me the same thing


Since DDay I have wondered either way what does it teach my DDs, because if either of them were in my shoes I would be telling them to run for the hills

This too I've thought to myself I would be crushed if one of my DDs lived in my sich.

I don't think there's an easy out and I am miserable but still won't make a move. Just wanted you to know your not alone


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5171 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much, I thought I was just finally going crazy. Somedays I actually think to myself I should just get used to this because I can live with it, just miserably. I know that's not a good way to think but some days my give a sh#t is just broken.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Somedays I actually
think to myself I should just get used to this because I can live with it, just miserably.

Yes and it scares the hell out of me. I feel like the fight in me is gone

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 4:03 PM, May 12th (Monday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5171 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Breezy))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25835 | Registered: Aug 2011
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Breez, perhaps your subconscious knows that your WH is not R material and that is the reason behind your misery.


I told him that maybe WH would get it and do the work and be someone that deserves me and he said "Ya and maybe tomorrow unicorns will fly out of my butt, he has never deserved you."

^^^this is pretty powerful stuff. Maybe you should *sit with it* for a while.....


{{{Breez}}}


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8111 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know, it all just sucks. He is really doing so much better, but maybe I don't care, maybe it is just too late. That is what makes me the most mad is that all this was so repairable, we could have had that wonderful marriage at the end of the rainbow, if he just would have said something before the A. What a waste. Thrown away for nothing.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
Topic Posts: 7

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