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User Topic: The Perfect Dining Room Table
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ever since I bought my childhood home, I have searched years for the perfect dining room table. While I didn't know exactly what it looked like, I knew exactly what it was not. I am a klutz so it could not have sharp corners.

It had to seat a lot of people. It had to have sturdy chairs. It had to be made of real wood. Not the soft kind of wood. It had to be hardwood. Made to withstand all the knocks of life.

It could not be trendy. I wanted traditional. I wanted something I could pass on to my own children. It has to be able to stand the test of time. I want it to last for generations.

In my quest for the perfect dining room table, I realize that I put the same careful thought into choosing my WH. For too long, I blamed myself for choosing poorly.

Now I realize that choosing him is not permanent just as if I chose the wrong dining room table. WH is trying to be the dining room table that I want. Sometimes a square peg just can not fit into a round hole.

It's okay. I still love him. I love him enough to let him go. Just as I realize that a good dining room table isn't for me, it might be good for someone else in their dining room. Sometimes things just don't fit.


BW: 41
WH: 48
Married 18 years. SD: 25 from his 1st. M. DS: 20 from 1st M. DD: 16 (autistic)

D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.


Posts: 277 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Forged1
♂ Member
Member # 43418
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love him enough to let him go.

Sort of how I'm feeling about my WW/ STBXW.


Me: BH - 30s
Her: WW - 30s

Married - 2008
PA with boss for at least 5 months in 2013, possibly longer.
DDay - Feb 2014
Separated, heading to D
==================================
At this stage, I'm pretty much bulletproof.


Posts: 250 | Registered: May 2014 | From: USA
silentscream13
♀ Member
Member # 41693
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my quest for the perfect dining room table, I realize that I put the same careful thought into choosing my WH. For too long, I blamed myself for choosing poorly.

Now I realize that choosing him is not permanent just as if I chose the wrong dining room table. WH is trying to be the dining room table that I want. Sometimes a square peg just can not fit into a round hole.

I think I am just beginning to realize this myself.


ME: BS- 39; HIM: WS - 40 (lostmymind13)
OW: TechnicallyMarriedEx-GF - 47
Sexting,OEA/NO PA (but was planning it before he got caught)
D-day - 11-14-13
Together: Almost 18 years; Married: Almost 15 years
4 Children
Apologies: I edit. Often.

Posts: 213 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Nowhere and Everywhere
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your responses. It is so hard to let go. I have an appointment with my doctor in the morning for antidepressants. WH has IC starting in the middle of June and we have MC scheduled for the first of June with my IC.

After swearing up and down for months that he never had sex with OW#6, he just admitted that they did have sex and that he was too afraid to tell me because he was afraid that it would be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

He just broke off a flirtatious thing he had going on with another co-worker from his old area. He calls it an affair because he lied to me about it.

I am shattered.


BW: 41
WH: 48
Married 18 years. SD: 25 from his 1st. M. DS: 20 from 1st M. DD: 16 (autistic)

D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.


Posts: 277 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have tried antidepressants in the past. I have had allergic reactions to all of them. The last one sent me into full anaphylactic shock so I am nervous. It hurts getting stabbed in the heart and waking up to find your doctor straddling your chest and pounding the heck out of you.

My doctor has refused to prescribe me anymore antidepressants. My only other option is hospitalization since I can not be medicated. Wish me luck. Whatever happens, happens.


BW: 41
WH: 48
Married 18 years. SD: 25 from his 1st. M. DS: 20 from 1st M. DD: 16 (autistic)

D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.


Posts: 277 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. I'm very sorry you are having another DDay Furious1. Wanted to let you know that you have been heard. I can feel your pain in your words. This probably set you back to square 1 with your WH. It boggles the mind in how they just don't get it sometimes. That he literally just started your pain all over again by not coming clean before.

Thinking about you tonight.

(((Furious1)))

yop


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 1947 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
RomanticInnocenc
♀ Member
Member # 43041
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Furious, my heart breaks for you! Why do they do this? They hurt us and the one thing we ask for is the truth... HOW HARD CAN THAT BE? We deserve to know who and what we are married to! Please take care of yourself, do whatever you have to do to stay safe and as emotionally stable as possible, there is no shame in staying in a hospital for a while if that is what you need! Sending hugs!


Me: BS 31
WH: 29 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS: 6 months old
Together 10 years, married 2.
DD1: 8th of Jan 2014
DD2: 10th of Jan 2014
NC: 8th of Jan
In hopeful R!

Posts: 290 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Allornothing
♀ Member
Member # 42354
Default  Posted: 2:37 AM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Furious)))

Do whatever it is you need to take care of yourself. We're all here if you need us.

Sending strength hon


Me- BS 42
Him- FWH 42
Married 19 years, Together 25
Kids- 23,21,15,14
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant

Posts: 175 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The doctor prescribed me antidepressants along with some antibiotics. All of the stress has my skin disease flaring up. Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed that I don't have a reaction to this medication.

Now that I have had a chance to sleep on it, I can understand why WH was afraid to tell me the truth about OW#6. It is a major setback. On one hand, I appreciate him finally telling me. On the other, I really hate that it took him so long to overcome his fears. As for the flirty stuff, I'm glad he finally sees how damaging it is.

There's just so much to think about right now. Thank you all for your support.


BW: 41
WH: 48
Married 18 years. SD: 25 from his 1st. M. DS: 20 from 1st M. DD: 16 (autistic)

D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.


Posts: 277 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Furious1)))

I am so sorry. Good luck with the anti depressants, I really hope that they work for you with no adverse reactions.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
Topic Posts: 10

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