I really like the eye contact, makes me feel more like we are making love rather than just having sex. The eyes are able to express so much feeling and making love seems like the perfect opportunity.
Years ago, when we started to have sex, he did not make eye contact, although he was the one with a lot more sexual experience. I mentioned that I would like for him to look at me...it really was a new experience for him and he really liked it. I am being honest when I say it would have bothered me and even hurt if he would not have reciprocated.
I just assumed that because he had "been around" surely, intimacy with eye contact would be something he had done. That turned out to be something pretty deep for him then.
This was something I never considered pre DDay. Post DDay it is something I want very badly with my husband.
I can understand that MrsP.
It's obviously not for everyone, but it makes me wonder what the fear is about or what is holding you(anyone) back? As a B, I can understand the safety and trust issues after betrayal inhibiting or restraining eye contact. It seems as though there are a number of Ws here who are not familiar or accustomed to eye contact, just like WSO wasn't in the beginning of our relationship.
I can't imagine having sex with someone I don't feel that I love. That's scary to me. He had sex with many women, just for fun. For us, the eye contact is a choice to be very intimate and close.
Like so many things on a personal level in your M/Relationhip, you don't know until you try it. And what's wrong with gently initiating this with touch, sans words during lovemaking? A gentle touch of your S/SO eyes could open up more intimacy.