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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Thanks for the new rant mom..
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mom is on vacation, and I've been texting with her.. I've shown her SI before, and I told her to check out the post I made in General.. It was about the kids and Mother's Day and my favorite new quote, "You don't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there." She read it and said how great it is that I'm trying to give back and help people..

Then we texted a bit about how I hope I'm helping people who are trying to R and that I'm not being biased. Then I told her about SBB's quote, "I'm not anti R. I am not anti Warward. I am anti cake eating motherfuckers though." And I told her how I try to help people trying to R too, but so many times I just want to tell all of them to run!

She said, "I think the wayward lets you know by their actions whether R is possible. In your case it was obviously not."

Back story: My brother cheated on my SIL, but he's been very remorseful so far..

So I told my mom, "Yeah. I wouldn't tell <my SIL> to run unless I saw red flags.. But I'm much better in the Divorce/Separation forum helping people give up on unremorseful spouses and teaching them funny insults for their douchebag asswipe assclown FuckTard exes and their slunt, gutter pig, stripperwhore other women, lol"

(Yes, I kiss my mother with that mouth )

And she said, "Chevy Chase's epic rant in Christmas vacation!"

And she was right! Great rant this is..

I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2108 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
deena
♀ Member
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^^^

Love it!!!!


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 2881 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1657 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
emptiness2014
♀ New Member
Member # 43092
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ironically, that is my stbxwh's text message notification (well, it was at Christmas). And one of his favourite movies (we always made a big deal of watching all the Christmas movies in the weeks leading up to Christmas)....not sure how I will handle Christmas this year. But that rant is exactly how I feel.


BS (me): 32
WH: 33
Married: Feb 3, 2007
Discovery: Mar 26, 2014
Child 1: May 27, 2009
Child 2: May 23, 2012

Posts: 41 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: canada
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, he's a pretty classy guy with that as his ringtone, lol.

I admit I still avoid triggers, but sometimes I think the best way is to face them head on and create as many new memories about them as you can. That way, next time you come across it, your moronic ex will be one of the last things you think about when you see it..

Hell, when we separated, I left the marital home since I didn't get exclusive use fast enough, and he immediately brought OW and her kid to live here. But the judge gave it back to me (and everything else), and I've made so many new memories here, I'm loving it! And that douche and his douchette are the last thing on my mind


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2108 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How did I forget that epic rant - I love that movie!

I mainly read and post in D/S for the same reason. I was once that confused and terrified BS who so wanted to believe his pretty words rather than what my eyes were seeing. I was posting in R and they were still telling me it was not real remorse. So I stopped posting my own threads until the end of False R.

I didn't come here for people to tell me it wasn't remorse, I wanted them to tell me it was. I didn't want to be wrong about him, I wanted to be wrong about being in False R.

I think my own experience can help those in True R see the difference between my unremorseful XWH and their remorseful WS. Seeing what it DOES NOT look like must be helpful and reassuring to them. That, IMO, is the only way I can help people in R. I can't help them with the rest because I was not ever in true R myself.

Most of my rants and 2x4s are directed at the 'me' of 2 years ago. I read these posts and I get so angry at myself. I was there too once. It is painful to see others walk the same road with the same blinders on. The blinders that either tell them their WS has remorse or might have it, the blinders that tell them any of this is their fault and the blinders that tell them they can 'nice' their WS into True Remorse.

I actually had a thought recently about how my responses might cause pain to the original poster who is already clearly in significant pain. But they are things they need to hear even if they don't really want to.

I want to hug them all and tell them that it won't always feel this bad. I want to tell them that whether or not their WS finds true remorse is not a measure of their value but of the WS's value.

I feel like I'm paying it forward for everyone here who shone the torch towards truth and healing for me.

I thought my husband was a unique little snowflake - seeing him do all of the same things other unremorseful waywards do and follow the Cheaters Handbook to the letter made me realise that snowflake was actually a pile of steaming shit. It sounds weird but I was also glad to not be alone.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How did I forget that epic rant - I love that movie!

Can't believe I forgot it too! I haven't seen Clark Griswald fall out of the attic while watching home movies in a loooong time.

Most of my rants and 2x4s are directed at the 'me' of 2 years ago.

This is totally me. I never go into R, but I certainly go into JFO and General and let people know if I'm seeing red flags, and to recognize them and not miss them like the trusting fool I was.. Maybe cause of how naive I felt I was for so long (stupid LTA), I want to rip those blinders off them so they can see the red flags as soon as possible..

I always think people in JFO should 180 and run away immediately until the wayward has some time to think about things and decide if he's committed to R yet.. But of course it's a shock, and us betrayeds want answers NOW dammit.. It's so very hard at first..

I actually had a thought recently about how my responses might cause pain to the original poster who is already clearly in significant pain. But they are things they need to hear even if they don't really want to.

Totally agree. I think the hardest thing is figuring out what emotional state they are in and figuring out how to tell them what you want with words that really gets through to them..

I wouldn't think, "HE'S IN AN ACTIVE AFFAIR!!" is always the best way to go about it.. But sometimes it is....


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2108 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:42 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But I'm much better in the Divorce/Separation forum helping people give up on unremorseful spouses and teaching them funny insults for their douchebag asswipe assclown FuckTard exes and their slunt, gutter pig, stripperwhore other women, lol"
Not only the Chevy Chase quote, but 99 others!! Brilliant. and then there's part two if you can't find what you need in part one.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSEYXWmEse8


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3443 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^

Omg, so many to choose from!! For now, I'm going with Betty White, "If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it."


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2108 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent.

And I love your mother.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8579 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 10

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