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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Text from WW - Cast your vote
PollyA
♀ Member
Member # 40567
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I, too love crickets. I also love Gutfeelings, but would omit anything to do with the cheater.

"I took DD into consideration, as I always do. I have always been and will continue to be a loving and responsible parent."


BW - 2 x's ( once before married, got therapy, thought we'd both moved forward)
WH - SA? Probably not. Just a Selfish ASS
DD1 - 4/2001 - 1 OW, left, returned, therapy, thought he'd "gotten it". I was wrong.
DD2 - 8/2013 -

Posts: 128 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: PollyA
Schadenfreude
♂ Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't recall your asking permission to introduce a third party into our marriage or into your new household. Be that as it may, my decision to bring a dog into my household is one made with DD's interests in mind as most would agree that children enjoy having a relationship with a loving pet.


Don't go crickets as shel twist that into a "he doesn't care" argument should custody/visitation fight erupt down the road.

This recommendation is a nice way to say "F@@@ You, Bi@@@" to her without actually using those words, and would remind the judge of her infidelity and highlight the absurd nature of her demand.


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ANNNDDD we're off to the races with her texts:

"There is no reason to take your anger over issues with me out on decisions made that impact our daughter. I was not asking to be included in the decision making I was asking to be told instead of hearing from someone else. That is it."

"I don't see a reason in bringing up the affair when I am just asking to be told about a dog. It is shocking when you told me you would be financially strapped and now have a vacation over memorial day weekend along with a trip to the beach and added expenses of a pet. I don't ask for a dime from you because of the fact that in our separation agreement you asked me to not ask for child support. I spend money on DD at least every other day on random expenses. And to think that I was trying to give you an upper hand?"

"I thought we were coparenting but I could be mistaken. If this is how things are always going to be then I will go ahead and proceed in filing for a divorce. Because at this point I am looking out for DD like I always have and helping you out with not having to pay child support and allowing you to be on my health insurance. But all I asked was that I be told about a decision made that affects our daughter and you have said no."


(please, before I get the flames from people about child support, i am a full-time graduate student who makes 1/5 of what my wife makes---she would have to pay me alimony if she divorced me, little does she know. My vacations are paid for by my family.)

[This message edited by knockeddown at 5:11 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Marriage Dissolved - 10/9/2014

Posts: 105 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been contemplating on filing for a while, but I think it's time.


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Marriage Dissolved - 10/9/2014

Posts: 105 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

File.

And, what kind of dog?


Posts: 11743 | Registered: Mar 2008
RippedSoul
♀ Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you do respond, my opinion would be that it revolve around this one statement:

As DD's father I consider your input with everything impacting DD.

Except she didn't. Zoo passes and new pets are nowhere near as impactful as an A. Unless you choose to murder someone and then go to prison, there are few decisions you can make that would compare to hers in any way, shape, or form.

Still, if you think those thoughts would be wasted on her, then crickets would be the way to go. Good luck.


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 460 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
PollyA
♀ Member
Member # 40567
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes to CRICKETS. Theme park passes?

For her to mention theme park passes is just trying to find a reason to say "you're wrong". Well, even the dog thing is. She needs to feel some sense of control, or inclusion, or...I don't know what.

She loses.....


BW - 2 x's ( once before married, got therapy, thought we'd both moved forward)
WH - SA? Probably not. Just a Selfish ASS
DD1 - 4/2001 - 1 OW, left, returned, therapy, thought he'd "gotten it". I was wrong.
DD2 - 8/2013 -

Posts: 128 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: PollyA
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When in doubt, crickets. Her response confirms this. There is no winning. Difficult though it may be, refrain from responding to her enflamed response. Be the bigger person; let her think she's "won" with her getting the last word. These people are children; treat them as such. Ignoring is the best response.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets.
She is looking for a fight.
Fuck her.

File.

What kind of dog? Name? Age? Pics?!?! Please!!!!


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8709 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
whattheh
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go crickets and file if that's what you want.

Ask for a minimum of joint custody. In addition to alimony she may also owe you for child support if you the children equal number of nites in your home.

I can never understand why an adulterer is even considered a fit parent. She cheated on the entire family and not just you. A fit parent cares more about their child than to treat the child like this and screw their lives up and give them FOO issues.

[This message edited by whattheh at 5:28 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 565 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Tren0R201
♂ Member
Member # 39633
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is probably why you shouldn't have engaged in the first place. This is an exercise in control and balance of power.
That little text is what is called a sh*t test. You did something that affirms ability to take decisions in your life without consultation or input from her.
A narcissist can't have that, so she engages you, testing out this resolve, hoping you bite so she can reestablish control and the feeling of power.

You're trying to reason where there is no reason. Next she'll be complaining if you change the furniture. There is no logic. So stop engaging her and let her text/rant/whatever.

It might also do your sanity a world of good.


Posts: 188 | Registered: Jun 2013
wonderpets
♂ Member
Member # 35901
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh gosh, she will learn a hard lesson. You'll be getting child support!

In my case, I used opportunities like this to establish boundaries.


Posts: 204 | Registered: Jun 2012
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There isn't a question, no answer needed.

She wants a "Yes Ma'am!" Anything else is going to turn into a text war.

Crickets.

She'll either get over it (being mad) or she'll die angry. Either way it's her choice!

Now tell us about the dog.....


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Tickingtock
♀ Member
Member # 41411
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What's your dog's name (the actual canine, not the STBXWW)??


Me: 31, exBGF, now married

Posts: 186 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: West Coast, USA
oldtimer97
♀ Member
Member # 2365
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well besides all the other witty responses I thought of, I voted for crickets, but then read your profile. Too late I see. Now that you're done with the bulk of your studies, bone up on Narcissism, you're going to need it, plus according to my Psychologist, it's epidemic so should come handy in your career!


“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

― Maya Angelou


Posts: 3261 | Registered: Oct 2003 | From: Sunny Arizona
NoReGrets
♀ Member
Member # 37902
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

KD's update on dog and life in a previous thread.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=530674&HL=43090

btw, congrats on the new furbaby. I owe most of my sanity to mine during the worst of the shitstorm.


Posts: 140 | Registered: Dec 2012
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I would have ignored her. It was obvious she is a power monger.

But seriously, this belongs in the quotes thread!

I might drop a random text about how you can at least get a dog fixed so it wont go fuck the neighbor

Too funny!


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3656 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
mike7
♂ Member
Member # 38603
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i'd text her - the problem with you is you're selfish and hypocritical. You destroy DD's family by sneaking off and having an affair. You didn't inform me about it, you lied. And now you're upset that I got a dog. boo fucking hoo. Go away. I don't want you anymore and if I had my options I wouldn't have to talk to you anymore. I'm embarrassed that I chose you to be DD's mother.

ok, so that was a little harsh. but honestly, the audacity that people have some times. Makes me pissed off for you Knocked.

[This message edited by mike7 at 9:10 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]


BH 53
WW 52
Two kids 21, 18

DDay 1/15/2013


Posts: 542 | Registered: Mar 2013
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her tirade of texts is exactly why you need to learn the art of crickets. Do Not Engage! It's like giving her the green light to start blasting away.

You will learn. Crickets is always the best answer with these narc cheaters.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
totallyconfused1
♀ Member
Member # 42030
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about option E. Get her a pony as well!! See what she thinks about that! LOL

Agree with others - option C. Ignore. But sooo tempting to roll all the other ones together in one response!


Me - BS
Him - WS
DD Jan 8 2014

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 70
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