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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Text from WW - Cast your vote
totallyconfused1
♀ Member
Member # 42030
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about option E. Get her a pony as well!! See what she thinks about that! LOL

Agree with others - option C. Ignore. But sooo tempting to roll all the other ones together in one response!


Posts: 71 | Registered: Jan 2014
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is an Olde English Bulldogge named Gracie. She is 4 years old and is such a great companion thus far! :)

Thank you for all of your feedback. I think it is best for me next time just to not engage at all. She is projecting all of her irrational thinking onto me and it's pathetic. I just need to keep that at bay as much as humanly possible.


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Separated - living apart

Posts: 103 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I vote crickets. You didn't move in with a drug cartel; you bought what is hopefully a beloved family pet. She doesn't get a say in that just as you didn't get a say in her going outside your marriage.

Give her nothing. It's no less than she deserves.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3538 | Registered: Oct 2011
EasyDoesIt
♀ Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. I know I have a case of last-word-i-tis but I'd have to say this, "The dog will be a positive supplement to her life, unlike your affair which caused the break-up of our family." THEN crickets.

There's just no way I'd be big enough to not throw something in there.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3688 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
EasyDoesIt
♀ Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You owe her no explanations for the decisions in your life that will affect your daughter in a positive way.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3688 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
twitching
♀ Member
Member # 42399
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow that dog is totally GREAT!!!!!!!
Good for you.
No need to respond to her attempts to bait you and distract you from the fact that she is a cheater.

seriously, great dog.


"My heart was broken and my head was just barely inhabitable. " - Anne Lamont

Posts: 128 | Registered: Feb 2014
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*I got a bitch to replace a bitch. New one's cheaper*

Kidding aside, see a lawyer yesterday. I *hear* a lot of *legaleze* in her texts to you. Remember what Admiral Ackbar warned. Seriously, legal advice, now. File ASAP.

"I am not saying that. I am saying that I should hear these things from you instead of a third party. Your decision to be involved with school more than your family means I don't need your input either however as DD's parents I believe that there are things we should be on the same page about. I thought we agreed on that. As DD's father I consider your input with everything impacting DD. Such as discussing zoo and theme park passes with you which you made a decision on your own about."

"There is no reason to take your anger over issues with me out on decisions made that impact our daughter. I was not asking to be included in the decision making I was asking to be told instead of hearing from someone else. That is it."

"I don't see a reason in bringing up the affair when I am just asking to be told about a dog. It is shocking when you told me you would be financially strapped and now have a vacation over memorial day weekend along with a trip to the beach and added expenses of a pet. I don't ask for a dime from you because of the fact that in our separation agreement you asked me to not ask for child support. I spend money on DD at least every other day on random expenses. And to think that I was trying to give you an upper hand?"

"I thought we were coparenting but I could be mistaken. If this is how things are always going to be then I will go ahead and proceed in filing for a divorce. Because at this point I am looking out for DD like I always have and helping you out with not having to pay child support and allowing you to be on my health insurance. But all I asked was that I be told about a decision made that affects our daughter and you have said no."

Everything in bold can and will be used in court. Reread this if you can with an unjaded eye. Don't her requests sound reasonable(without context, which a judge won't have....)? She is trying to paint you with tar and feathers. Her only concern is the *best interest of the child*. How sure are you that she hasn't seen an attorney? Having BTDT, sounds like you really need to focus.

Did you pick your specialty due to WW's traits, or was it just a coincidence?

Sending strength to endure the coming storm.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2564 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Credence
♂ Member
Member # 42682
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would respond to this with: 'Your comments have been duly noted'.

Cover your arse, do not engage in bickering and do not give her ammunition. Anything that isn't a question, or doesn't require an opinion, should get the same treatment - your comments have been duly noted.

Crickets = I can't be bothered to talk to you, co-parenting mother of my child.

1) Acknowledge her communication.
2) Leave emotion out of correspondence with her.
3) Every response from you needs to show that you are putting DD's needs first.
4) Don't say anything more than you absolutely need to, to get your point across.

I agree with 545 and she certainly appears to be 'playing the game' you just need to be one step ahead of her.


If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you always got

Posts: 182 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: UK
twitching
♀ Member
Member # 42399
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Plus, an awesome dog is WAY more appropriate for a 2 year old than any theme park passes. You getting a dog is none of her damn business and does not affect anything having to do with coparenting.

Maybe get a new babysitter that does not talk so much.


"My heart was broken and my head was just barely inhabitable. " - Anne Lamont

Posts: 128 | Registered: Feb 2014
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^ I would be having a really stern talk with your babysitter about setting boundaries. If she doesn't understand that she is not to share ANY information about you with your WW, then you may need to start looking for a new sitter. Because otherwise, your WW is going to start pumping her for information every time she sees the sitter.

Lovely dog!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4586 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
CanITrustHer
♂ New Member
Member # 43204
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

C. Keep it simple.


44 and 44
Two kids, 10 and 7
She had an affair in 2001
I'm trying to figure out the extent of her current "relationship"
In MC. Trying to heal.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Texas
needfriendshere
♀ Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets would be the way to do it with the least amount of repercussions or fireworks. But I would probably pick D. That's just me....

Best of luck!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 231 | Registered: May 2014
soulshattered
♂ New Member
Member # 43101
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unless she has something constructive to say, total silence is the best response to people who are trying to goad you into an argument. I agree that the language used, to me, seems like she's greasing her own skids for a court battle and you can bet any reply you make will be printed out. Stay strong and don't rise to the bait ...


BH - 53
DDay - 4/4/14
Together 21 years
Completely Devastated and Trying Hard

Posts: 47 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: NS Canada
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

???

It's a dog. Does she want to know if you're changing oatmeal brands too? After all, that also affects DD.

She's basically saying you should consult her on EVERYTHING.

One question - what, since you S, has she consulted you on? Surely SOMETHING she has done, besides blowing up DD's family - has had an impact on DD. Have you been consulted?

PS - LOVE Gracie!!!

[This message edited by painfulpast at 5:04 PM, May 14th (Wednesday)]


It's so easy to believe someone when they're telling you exactly what you want to hear.....

Posts: 1738 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
TXMommy
♀ Member
Member # 28857
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's tough… I would be inclined to lash out and say it's none of her darn business. However, I suppose crickets would be the more APPROPRIATE response.
Wow… what gall!


ME - BS - 33
WH - 30
Married 9 years, together 11
2 kids: D8, S2
D-Day: June 10th, 2010
Trudging through R.

Posts: 593 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: TX
adriana1980
♀ New Member
Member # 41780
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

KnockedDown, you need to file for a divorce. The longer you wait, the more it's going to cost you.

Posts: 37 | Registered: Dec 2013
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

adrianna1980 - can you please elaborate?

Thank you guys for all your responses and thought-provoking comments. I think it is best that I file soon. Ugh. I don't want to, but I have to.


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Separated - living apart

Posts: 103 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not speaking for Aubrie, but for one

Posts: 6425 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the one who files first has an advantage - what I've seen and experienced.

Posts: 6425 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd vote that

Posts: 6425 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
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