I am almost 3 years out.
I have completely lost the ability to generally assume the best about people who I don't know. At best, I see a stranger and feel complete indifference. At worst, I see a stranger as a selfish asshole who is out to get me. It sucks. I miss loving mankind.
Loss of faith. I used to go to church. Between the infidelity and my son's death- yeah, God can kiss my ass at this point. Not only did I lose faith in God, but also in mankind as a whole. I'm learning how to have faith in myself again.
Patience. I have zero. Ever. I am an impatient asshole.
People zap the energy out of me. I can go to a big party or social gathering and be fine around tons of people. But I'm EXHAUSTED afterwards.
Still with the depression. Every single time I try and go without my antidepressants, I make it for about a year and hit a wall and bad shit starts happening. It's been 5 years, I found a great med and dose that works for me, but I miss being a person who didn't need to take medication everyday.
I think I am asexual. I am not attracted sexually to men, or to women. I am not attracted to my husband in a sexual way. I used to recognize "hot" people, but I don't anymore. I have been unable to orgasm, and while I remain married and get frustrated at a lack of sex between me and my husband, it is frustration about not connecting on an emotional level and not feeling wanted in that way by him. Physically, nothing really happens for me anymore.
I'm sure there are more.I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.
At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."