Member # 38674
| Posted: 12:45 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
Just got word that drs have diagnosed me with depression xml and now they want me to go to counseling ..wow where's the white give up flag when I need it.....
6 wonderful kids 12 yrs 8 yrs 5 yrs 4 yrs and 2 yrs ..and new baby
married 10 years together for 12 yrs
working on R
my give a damn is busted
Posts: 225 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: cold ohio
Member # 42544
| Posted: 1:16 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but it can be dealt with now. Nothing wrong with raising the white flag when you need it. Wishing you well.
Together - 14 years
Married - 7 years
DDay- Jan 15, 2014. WH had EA/PA
Posts: 80 | Registered: Feb 2014
Member # 2766
| Posted: 1:33 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
When infidelity gets served on a platter into our lives, it often comes with a side of depression. Definitely see your Dr. and see if medications will help you through this. No shame should be felt, at all, for needing help.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Member # 34827
| Posted: 2:58 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
I think its pretty common around here. I've had a lot of trauma/drama in the last few years, not A related, and made it without AD's but I finally realized I needed help. Infidelity has,way to many ways to f**k with your head.
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Posts: 5174 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Member # 38377
| Posted: 3:19 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
I think there's a pretty bag stigma around counseling, and I hate that.
There should be a stigma around people who are recommended to go to counseling, but refuse to (like my ex).
There are some bad counselors out there, of course, but I think the majority of times it helps people. All you do is talk about your issues/insecurities/fears/etc and try to get things in perspective! And you can always switch counselors if you want!
I like taking my kids to counseling to give them a neutral 3rd party to talk to and vent about their issues, regarding the divorce and otherwise, without worrying about offending either parent.. Maybe my DS10 is frustrated with his dad, but he doesn't want to tell me because he doesn't want me getting mad at his dad, so the counselor gives him a safe place to express his feelings.
This is great for the adults too.. Sometimes you just need a neutral third party in your life. Maybe people like your mom and best friend mean well, but they will probably always have biases.. It's nice talking to someone who has no other connections in your life and where everything is confidential..
And honestly, I think every BS should get some counseling to deal with the trauma of infidelity and talk to someone not involved in the situation. And I ESPECIALLY recommend counseling to betrayed spouses who have particularly mean, abusive, gas lighting, blame-shifting exes who get particularly nasty. I "mostly" knew I wasn't crazy and that he was gaslighting me, but it meant a lot to have my counselor confirm my feelings... Counseling was a huge help in reminding me what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like..
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor
Posts: 2400 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Member # 42970
| Posted: 7:06 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
I just started antidepressants yesterday. Depression has been a long standing issue with me, but I have only been in counseling and trying to deal with it for the past 2 years. For too long, I was worried about the stigma of being labeled. I was worried that it would damage any future career opportunities or that it could be used against me if I chose to divorce my WH.
I understand the feeling of wanting to give up at times. It's not an easy road. When I first started counseling, I was more than a little freaked out about talking to someone. I was so afraid that they would judge me. The first counselor I saw wasn't a good fit. I was so intimidated that I could not open up. The second counselor put me at ease right away and I have been with him for the past two years.
As for worrying about the stigma, I realized that it takes a lot of guts to get help. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Hang in there brokensunflower. You are not alone in this.
BW (me): 41 WH (him): 49
Married 18 years. SD: 26 from his 1st. M. DS: 21 from 1st M. DD: 17 (autistic)
D-day: 10/4/13 with ongoing TT (last TT was 10/2/14).
2 OC with 2 different OW. 7 year EA followed by 8 year PA with my sister.
Posts: 340 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Member # 27428
| Posted: 7:22 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
There is no shame in treating a medical condition.
Posts: 1278 | Registered: Feb 2010
Member # 33226
| Posted: 7:38 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
You can call me NIK
"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana
Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 30369
| Posted: 7:43 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014|
I got a depression diagnosis as well. It is treatable. Hang in there. We're here for you.
Posts: 7657 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 31528
| Posted: 8:03 AM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014|
I'm sorry. After Dday I stalled going to the dr for mos. When I finally went they said depression, anxiety, ptsd, meds, counseling, etc... I am in a much brighter place because of the tools they gave me. You will get there to. Sending you strength and hope.
Posts: 36058 | Registered: Mar 2011
|Topic Posts: 10|