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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: ex Inlaws and your new beginning
♂ Member
Member # 36336
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The first Christmas I sent out cards of the kids. Nothing in return and the women on xww's side have a hard time even saying hello to me. Her aunts husbands still call and talk every once in a while and we all get along.

Since the divorce her family has "fallen apart". they used to always have family gatherings, now there is a lot of fighting and not many get along. Really crazy how things have changed. But it's not just my xww's fault for this, her cousin did the same thing about a yr later.

Thank my lucky stars that I'm not part of that family anymore. I'm sure they aren't heartbroke that I'm gone.

Posts: 127 | Registered: Aug 2012
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was important near the beginning to reach out to the in laws. They have no clue as to STBX's actions and the actual cause of the pending D. As I grew and healed a bit I decided to just let it all go. I'll never see them or hear from them again and it's ok. I'm sure I'll hear snippets from STBX as far as births and deaths but for me I had to let it all go to start over.

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 780 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ours was a second marriage and we didn't have children together so there was less of a reason to remain in contact. I'm still close to two SIL's and one niece, but they were XH's stepsisters and I think the "blood is thicker than water" axiom applies since I have had zero contact from his other siblings. I was close to them, loved spending time with them and it did hurt at first to have them give me the boot. XMIL has bad mouthed me to my niece and it has gotten back to me. She's stopped by my house in an attempt to repair our relationship, but it doesn't seem sincere as even as recently as 4 months ago she brings up how sad "she" is; how "she" wishes we could have repaired things, how his behavior and the divorce has affected "her". Funny how I couldn't see all that narcissism before!

I had a relationship with my first MIL for many years, stayed in contact because of the children, exchanged Christmas gifts etc. Even though she is a piece of work too and giving up the extra requirements of that relationship was a side benefit of that divorce.

The guy I'm dating now has no living parents. Excellent.

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53

Posts: 3235 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
♂ Member
Member # 43418
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, May 16th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my case, at least one of the in-laws unwittingly provided cover for the A. Habitual weekend visits to her parents (both somewhat elderly) were so commonplace that I didn't really give it a second thought. I've since learned from WW that MIL had knowledge that something was up, and also that she kept a particularly big piece of information from me.

I'd never heard the FOO abbreviation until I found this forum, but looking at their relationship and domestic living dynamics, it's easy to see why my WW behaved in the way she did in certain areas of our marriage.

I certainly don't want anything bad to happen to them, but never having to see or speak to them again won't bother me in the least.

Me: BH - 30s
Her: WW - 30s

Married - 2008
PA with boss for at least 5 months in 2013, possibly longer.
DDay - Feb 2014
Separated, heading to D
At this stage, I'm pretty much bulletproof.

Posts: 307 | Registered: May 2014 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

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