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User Topic: An old post of mine
WarehouseGuy
♂ Member
Member # 6037
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Today I was cleaning out a file cabinet and found this. It was written in about February of "05 and was to my now ex. It sounds dramatic--but that's the way I felt at the time.

Please do not bother giving me anything for my birthday You have given me so much since September 12th anyway.

You have given me the ability to see that you are a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, and very deceitful.

You have given me the ability to see that I can never trust you again.

You have given me the ability to see the that you are morally flawed.

You have given me the ability to see how truly selfish you are.

You have given me the ability to see that you really don't care about me.

You have given me the ability to feel pain and heartache that I did not deserve.

You have given me the ability to see that 34 years of being together means nothing to you.

You have given me the ability to see that that you would rather divorce me than to face reality and work it out or face your own demons.

But most of all--you have given me the ability to see who you really are. And that may be the best gift of all. I can't thank you enough.


Don't know if this will help anyone--but I hope so.
whg


If you see your ex with someone else--don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.

Posts: 5173 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Michigan
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't feel it is dramatic, WHG. It sounds very rational and logical. Thanks for sharing.

p.s. I do understand how looking back on your past writings/posts can seem a bit dramatic. I know I feel that way sometimes when I look back at something I wrote. But I realize, at the time, that is how I felt.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9404 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
WarehouseGuy
♂ Member
Member # 6037
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sister,

I never thought I would find this today. It just happened. Actually it kind of messed with my head.

whg

[This message edited by WarehouseGuy at 3:52 PM, May 14th (Wednesday)]


If you see your ex with someone else--don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.

Posts: 5173 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Michigan
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dramatic? Not to me, I still feel all of that. I look forward to the day when it seems dramatic.


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

divorcing


Posts: 1251 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WHG, I always thought you were some young whippersnapper. I hadn't realized you had been married for 34 years! (or together for 34 years) I was really shocked at that line.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9404 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
WarehouseGuy
♂ Member
Member # 6037
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm far from a young whippersnapper SisterM. 59 yrs old is not a spring chicken

I'm just hoping that this just might help someone else in some way.


If you see your ex with someone else--don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.

Posts: 5173 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Michigan
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

59 yrs old is not a spring chicken
Hey, wait a minute, I resemble that remark!

I am sure your post will help someone to see their situation in yours.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9404 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
needfriendshere
♀ Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not dramatic. It's really good. And honest. I have days when I write things down too - not as eloquently as you, I'm afraid. But I am keeping them in a folder, hoping that someday I can tear them up because I will no longer feel that way. Do you still feel those things after 9 years?


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 231 | Registered: May 2014
WarehouseGuy
♂ Member
Member # 6037
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I don't feel those things anymore. It just kind of hit me today after all these years after finding it today. Kind of surprised in a way that it was even there in an old file file.


If you see your ex with someone else--don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.

Posts: 5173 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Michigan
OakStreet
♀ Member
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I enjoyed your post. May use it with some modifications.


Me: 58
Him: 65
Married: 21 years (well, we'll say 19 now!).
One son: 19, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
18 month EA/PA with COW
Dday #2: 4/16/14
Haven't decided on outcome.

Posts: 305 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: West Virginia
WarehouseGuy
♂ Member
Member # 6037
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oakstreet,

Use whatever you need if it works for you. I think it speaks for a lot of us here.

whg


If you see your ex with someone else--don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.

Posts: 5173 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Michigan
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..whg...

..you were given a great gift.. the gift of sight, insight and hind-sight..

..she took your blinders off and let you see her for who she really was, although I'm sure she never wanted to let you 'see' anything..

..this new-found wisdom will protect you from her and others like her who would try to hurt and deceive you..

..I think we all got an education in what people are capable of doing to their fellow man..

..in the lyrics of The Who... "we won't get fooled again"... we hope!!!

We are better off and wiser now.. certainly hard lessons to learn in life.

Waywards can learn a lot from your old post about the true impact of their actions as seen by BS's..

..thanks for posting.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4102 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
TS68
♀ Member
Member # 40211
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Incredibly put whg. Hopefully you have found happiness since writing this. I know you have been a huge support to others here at SI. HER LOSS!!! She didn't deserve you.

Hugs to you from across town. You are a good man.

((((Whg))))



Married 20 years

Posts: 156 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 13

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