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Newest Member: SC619 (44924)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I lost it and physically attacked the OM
osxgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a suggestion on handling any future drop-offs:

Your kids are old enough to at least come out to the car to get something of theirs if you need to drop it off for them. So... if they forget something and you are not contacted to get it to them, don't. If no one remembers they needed it, then they didn't need it very bad.

If they do contact you, arrange a time to drop it off, with the requirement that the kid getting the item needs to come out to the car to get it. You park in the driveway - there should be no issue with the child just walking out to the car to get something. Take nothing to the door.

If it's something of hers that she wants.... Hah! Tough luck. If you decide you want to be agreeable and give it to her, notify her that you will put the item at such-and-such a place (on your porch, out by the road, etc.) at such-and-such a time. She will then be free to get it at that time or not.

To put it more briefly - take yourself out of the situation.


Posts: 2394 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I continue to be agrieved that POS never has to be held to account for his actions

Allatsea - You know you did wrong and you've had many 2x4's from concerned SI family members.

You are trying to make sense out of people that will NEVER make sense. You are trying to rationalize behavior that HAS NO rationale. Gru is NOT a happy man. This man stole your wife, got her pregnant. He looks in the mirror and simply MUST see a better man to get through the day. How does he do this? By constantly discrediting you to her, your kids but MOSTLY to himself.

You have spent 14 months of pure living hell and you survived. That ALONE should make you look at him like a very bad hangover and say NO MORE. Do NOT fuck up any more of your life on his account. The next time the asshole provokes you, repeat to yourself he is NOT worth ANY of this. You are done. You are on the other side of this pain even if you have flashbacks and are still unsure of what to do in your life now. You have come WAY TO FAR to fuck your life up now.

You think he is NEVER going to have to pay for what he has done to you? He IS paying now which is why he is lashing out at you constantly. That is what bullies do. Karma IS a bitch and he has only scratched the surface on his.

Move along. These two MUST be looked at by you as Poison Ivy. You must acknowledge the danger in them and REMEMBER the pain that comes when the rash starts.

Be good to yourself, AAS. See them for what they are, shake your head, and MOVE ON. No one yet alone these two losers is worth a police record.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 501 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
wonderpets
♂ Member
Member # 35901
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK, I will be the asshole here. Happy you showed that fucker not to me with you, but you did it all wrong.

If you want to take the high road and piss them off, you drop kids stuff off face to face. Laugh at them if they insult you. If he continues, ask in a nice tone of voice if he is scared to come out of XWW's skirt.

Negative reinforcement is a good tool. It seems like they want you to go away. Punish poor behavior by being more involved.

My XWW was too involved, and I responded by withdrawing. It worked, I got polite behavior if I refused favors when she was too much.

I wish you hit that fucker.


Posts: 203 | Registered: Jun 2012
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you want to take the high road and piss them off, you drop kids stuff off face to face. Laugh at them if they insult you

I totally agree. My mother used to say "Kill them with kindness." Nothing pisses off scum like a bully more than not playing their game with them.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 501 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You think he is NEVER going to have to pay for what he has done to you? He IS paying now which is why he is lashing out at you constantly.

Excellent point made by Guinness. For someone who isn't paying a price for his bad deeds, what you described doesn't sound like the acts of a happy, content person. He's living with WW, her kids, and they just had a baby of their own. The shit has gotten real.

And his actions show that he has AAS on the brain. The man he helped betray.

And now that there's a new baby in the mix, OM just got pushed down the totem pole a little. And I doubt the XWW is giving out much of the steamy, A-like sex he had grown accustomed to.

I would be surprised if OM isn't having some serious buyer's remorse right now.


Me (BS)-45, WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is so hard.

I have never seen OW in entirety and do not plan to. But I feel inside this ghost who competes with me and seeks to destroy and steal every thing I have.

All I have left in the world is my two kids on my turn, my piano and my clothes, because they are too small for that woman.

I know the feeling you must have had before you did what you did. I know it well.

I don't know if it will help, but I think of the two of them here as feelings of huge entitlement. I was and am the villian that they created and they want to pretend there is a world without me in it, though I did nothing to "earn" all of this.

You see, I was/am the one standing in their way and I am also the one on the other side of parenting they have to contend with for the next 18+ years. I wonder because of the vehemence and competition he shows, if your X and POS may think something similar. It's mind boggling to think there is someone out in the world with so much hate for me and I didn't know she even existed for a long time.

And X (I hate to say "yours") in your situation may be fueled with adrenaline when Pos displays such behavior and it may egg him on, like a pattern?

I would bet, too, when you started to drive away that some adrenaline kicked in and got the better of you. It happens. But it's done. I hope there's a way to document it and put it out of your head.

Also, another thing I've seen and heard of is that when an x has really good response to this sh, the other side acts really rotten to provoke. Sometimes a good person is hard to make look bad, you know?


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 66
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4

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