Is this the way you are normally, or do you think you're under extra stress now? Could extra stress be causing your inability to comprehend what you've done? Any new meds?
If it's extra stress, perhaps you'll get control when the stress diminishes or you get more used to it.
Are you aware of the WS forum? You may get more help there - more people who've been where you are and done what you've done.
Also, BSes can give you 2 X 4s here. On the WS forum you can prevent BSes from chiming in. Your call - do what's best for your healing.