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Newest Member: ThomasD (45459)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Cheated on me for 10 years..
boontje
♀ Member
Member # 33247
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((April))
Please read Holly-Isis response again. Over and over. Great advice. You need to put your bitch boots on, and be ready to kick him as hard as you can, for your own sake as well as your sweet baby's.

I'm really sorry you are dealing with this trauma at a time in your life that should be so special. Use the hurt, pain, anger, and whatever else you are feeling to propel yourself forward to the life you deserve.

As far as an annulment, it sounds like you have a good case.


Me: BS
Dday: June 2011
Working on R, one day at a time

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.Ē
― Ernest Hemingway



Posts: 965 | Registered: Aug 2011
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Choose whatever protects your DS and you the most.

The reality is in the little bubble of time that your son came into being, for YOU it was a situation of a loving (if troubled) M. No M, annulment or D will change that.

Go mama bear. Make your choices based on what is best for your DS. Not what you should do based on others, on any soft feelings...now is not the time to be sentimental. You need to provide for your son, regardless of your income. You never know what the future holds. And you need to limit his interactions with these two people who have at the least NPD tendencies and at the worst sociopathic.

Don't let him use your son to feed his ego the way he used you. He's an emotional vampire, sucking from others to fill his emptiness.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11237 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
April3216
♀ Member
Member # 43453
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are 100% correct, at the end of the day the only thing that matters is him. At one point recently I got so low that I had wished he was never born, but he is going to be the one thing that saves me.

I really dont think i have achieved the level of anger that I should have... where is it??


Me: BS
Him: WH
Married: 4.5 years
1ds: 4 weeks
Dday: 5/14
OW told me/cheated for ten years with her

No R. D FILED.


Posts: 135 | Registered: May 2014 | From: The Northeast
theroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 43334
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

April, how are you doing? Thinking of you and your little guy.


Me: BW(45)
Him: WH (45)
4 kids
Married 22 years

D-Day #1 March 2002- 4 month EA and PA with co -worker
D-Day #2 March 2012 - inappropriate relationship with co-worker

In R


Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2014 | From: New England
April3216
♀ Member
Member # 43453
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi- The Road Ahead.

I am back to work full-time, which is great! I decided I will take the remaining months of my maternity later in the year maybe when I can enjoy my baby more.
He is back with me, and my parents watch him during the day. I think I am finally able to enjoy him.
When the asshole wants to see him, he will go through my sister and do it that way. But im pretty much still depressed as all hell


Me: BS
Him: WH
Married: 4.5 years
1ds: 4 weeks
Dday: 5/14
OW told me/cheated for ten years with her

No R. D FILED.


Posts: 135 | Registered: May 2014 | From: The Northeast
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry you are still hurting and depressed. Totally understandable though. Please get help if you need it.

Sounds like a good decision to go back to work. A little structure and forced focus can be a very good thing.

Please take good care of yourself. Glad your parents can help out so much. Keep healing. You will be okay!


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 721 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
theroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 43334
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad that you're back at work as I'm sure that is helping a bit. And like you said you can always take some of your maternity leave later.

It's smart to have your sister as a go between so you don't have to see that asshat. Your family sounds like a great support for you.

I think about you often and always wonder how you are doing. I know it's been said before but it takes time. I wish there was some magical way that the pain could go away but there isn't. You will get there though, I promise. Sending you strength.(((April)))


Me: BW(45)
Him: WH (45)
4 kids
Married 22 years

D-Day #1 March 2002- 4 month EA and PA with co -worker
D-Day #2 March 2012 - inappropriate relationship with co-worker

In R


Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2014 | From: New England
April3216
♀ Member
Member # 43453
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

StillStanding: Iíve been seeing my IC regularly, and she has been great. I am thankful for her.
I am SO thankful to be here at work. I am a research analyst so I really have no downtime, and itís exactly what I need right now. I am very thankful for my parents and friends as well.

Theroadahead: I am excited that I can take my maternity leave later, so I will probably do it around the holidays. I am surprised that my sister is able to see him, but she is a Principal so she is used to dealing with children. Thank you for your thoughts. I wish I could take a pill to make this all go away. I know I am going to have to see him soon, and I already have anxiety about that.


Me: BS
Him: WH
Married: 4.5 years
1ds: 4 weeks
Dday: 5/14
OW told me/cheated for ten years with her

No R. D FILED.


Posts: 135 | Registered: May 2014 | From: The Northeast
April3216
♀ Member
Member # 43453
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am little more than a month out from Dday, and the pain hasn't gotten any better. Will it ever? I have my son back, and it's been great with him. Work is keeping me occupied, and it's nice to be back with the great people I work with. But it's when the silence comes and my brain just runs off with itself. This weekend HE will have the baby. 4th of JUly used to be my favorite holiday, but now it will just be ruined. I keep looking at happy things happening to everyone on FB, and I hate that I wish everyone was as miserable as me. We have a court date finally, so I have a countdown on my phone. It should be smooth as we have not contested anything at all. Better off for him not to do that or I will punch him. Today isn't a good day.


Me: BS
Him: WH
Married: 4.5 years
1ds: 4 weeks
Dday: 5/14
OW told me/cheated for ten years with her

No R. D FILED.


Posts: 135 | Registered: May 2014 | From: The Northeast
Topic Posts: 249
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