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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Karma or Creepy?
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still in house separation. He will agree to little on the MDA or parenting plan and of course why should he - he has it made. Lives in his paid for house, comes and goes as he pleases, no CS no SS, spends night at his girlfriends when he wants and just talks about her freely around me and kids. Well yesterday he got mail. It was 5x7 envelope and you could feel like small cloth inside. No return address. I wasn't here when he opened it but a couple of kids were. It was a pair of lacy red/black panties. No note or anything. He threw them away. DD25 fished out of trash later. So he apparently has pissed off some woman or some woman's boyfriend or H? A little disturbing to me because it seems like a quiet threat or something. And someone pissed off knows where I live!!! So is this Karma- or just flat out creepy?


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My initial thought:
He's fucked batshit crazy. And if she doesn't get the response she wants, she'll escalate.

What does your L say on pushing some shit through to get the D going?


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tesla- after 9 hrs of mediation he walked away. So we are preparing to go to court. We just filed several orders that may put a little pressure on him to move on things but he won't know about those until end of next week when his lawyer gets them and passes them on. I'm sure if I stopped pressing for SS he would be a little more willing - but that's part of his plan wait me me out so I cave and agree to get screwed in the process.


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's a little of both. I cannot believe that he is still dragging out the D, so sorry. I agree that I would be worried about someone having my address.


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1672 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So make it a little less comfy for him. Tell your lawyer you need temp orders NOW. Make it so he doesn't just get to come and go as he pleases. Tell him to pick two nights a week and one weekend day/night that HE is in charge of the kids/dinner/etc. Then GO OUT. Even if it's just to walk around the park, make it so you aren't there to do everything while he gets to just go have fun.

If you are doing his laundry or anything, stop it. Tell him he needs to do xyz chores around the house, you are not his maid.

Also, as I told mine, he CAN NOT talk about his whore freely around you and the kids. It is YOUR HOUSE too, and you do NOT allow trash in your house, even in words. (When doing in-house I got to a point that I stormed into his room and told him he was no longer allowed to skype with his whore while in my house, around my kids, 10 feet from them and I. That whores were not allowed in my house and if he wanted to skype with her, he could go elsewhere, we were not going to be subjected to him putting her before his kids. She was on the computer at the time and heard me; I called her every name in the book. Yeah yeah, not good 180, but I exploded. He moved out within a few weeks.)

Doesn't matter if he doesn't want to agree on things; he doesn't get to just have a perfect care-free life while you and the kids suffer around him.

As far as the panties go? I'd let him know that I knew about them, and the fact that he's letting his crazy ho's know where you live is a danger to you and the kids. That next time he gets a delivery of that sort you will call the police to hunt down the person and get and RO against her, and him. Ass.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5359 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a thought..my ex did similar things during in house...even messing with mail. He could have sent them to himself. My ex did similar things. I believe his refusal to move out & other stupid tricks are meant to open communication..childish but turned out it was how my ex behaved after even small arguments. May be the same in your case. Ignore the panties but be prepared he may start taking your mail. Just a possibility.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jerseycowgirl- it had briefly crossed my mind that he sent them himself. But then I think he would of waited for me to be around to open them. Yet at this stage I believe nothing he says and put nothing past him!

Devistatedmom-he is definitely on his own in this house. Been that way for awhile.the thing I'm looking forward to most....we will all be on summer break very soon (except him) so we have weeks of staying up late. DS16 has friends sleep over any night of week, late night pizza delivery, and overall coming and going at odd hours. He's always hated it. This year I have another reason to enjoy it more.

This is his divorce. He wanted it so he could pursue this new life he has experienced that he likes(WTF). So hoping he soon comes around and agrees to things on the MDA and parenting plan or he proposes something reasonable. Then he can collect all the panties he wants!


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the thing I'm looking forward to most....we will all be on summer break very soon (except him) so we have weeks of staying up late. DS16 has friends sleep over any night of week, late night pizza delivery, and overall coming and going at odd hours. He's always hated it. This year I have another reason to enjoy it more.
Oh he doesn't like it? I'd be having DS have a sleepover every night of the week!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3150 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 8

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