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Newest Member: doihavechoice (44727)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Conflicting wants
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I could recall the book that I read that talked about the wisdom of accepting BOTH/AND versus the narrow path of Either/Or. It changed my path to recovery.

B sounds like your present feelings (Anger, pain) and A sounds like your future (" I want to make plans for the future dream of the holidays we will go on, our retirement, the fun we will have with our grandchildren.")

If you continue on your healing path, BOTH are possible.

Start here...
Who is your fWH without the A pain and shame?

Who are YOU without the A pain and resentment?


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping... Because I wanted to retread this after seeing the thread on the WS perspective. Thanks to both of you for verbalizing the struggle so many of us identify with....


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 656 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
Sadjacey
♀ Member
Member # 41655
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

.A. Want to keep all the things we share, the good history

B. Not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with a man who use porn to excess and moved on to prostitutes.


Me: BS 59
WH: 60
Married 39 years
Together more than 40
Porn use known since 2005
DDay: 11.24.12 - found emails to prostitute,
Disclosure: TT for months. Still not sure whether I have it all.
DDay 2: 2.20 2014 phone, txt to same prostitute found

Posts: 124 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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