I will continue to work on me and building a life of my own, for myself. I will continue to try to change in myself that which I feel is unhealthy.
I have to, I want to, I just could never go back into that place of blindness.
The items on my list that I need for me to even consider allowing him to have a part in my life, slow is the word here, very, very slow.
All passwords, just an early warning system. Doesn't do a whole lot for me now.
IC, by himself with our previous IC/MC. He knows the history, he knows me. Along with the written release (thank you sissoon) for IC to talk to me and possible joint sessions, here and there if I desire.
Post and respond on SI daily.
I also told him that is just the beginning and that there is more.
Figured I would give the basics. If he really followed through, consistently and I could see actions matching words. Initiative for change in himself. Who knows...still working on me.
The one thing that makes this even a possibility to sit back and watch. I live apart from him. I have the beginnings of a life that I am starting to like. I like being me and I will never be anybody else again.
I will not jump through hoops for him again, I will only jump through hoops for myself. I want to change and grow for me, for my life.
If he is willing to do the work, it will show.
He would have to jump through the hoops for me now, not because I want him to suffer but because they are his hoops! He put them there and he has to find his way through them.
I am in no hurry, for anything really, none of this can be rushed. Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie