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Newest Member: feelostandlonely (45327)

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User Topic: What do you make of this?
Positiveways1212
New Member
Member # 42913
Default  Posted: 5:45 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's happy coming home from work to a clean house, dinner on the table, kids taken care of, a wife at home to say is his and to be there when we have to go somewhere (dinner, family functions). He likes to work outside in the yard, watch t.v. go to the gym and that's it. There is nothing between us expect hostility and anger. He will not talk about the marriage and if I bring it up, he shuts down and says " I don't know what to say."

Posts: 24 | Registered: Mar 2014
Positiveways1212
New Member
Member # 42913
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have told him several times that if doesn't start doing things hat married people do that I'm going to go have an affair. I told him straight out and he said NOTHING. I think he would overlook it, considering I've been talking about this issue for two decades. It's just baffling!

Posts: 24 | Registered: Mar 2014
RuckedUp
♀ New Member
Member # 34268
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My marriage is very similar except my husband is loving towards me. We have been married 30 years, but for over half those years we have not had sex. My husband seems to be having EAs with older women. I have found no evidence of sexual activity.

Like you I have threatened without following through for years. Now he sees my frustration as vents and ignores them. He also has developed ED, which has shut down any hope of resolution.

I feel I have a too good to leave but too bad to stay situation. We can't afford two households. It is just the two of us now. We are getting older and starting over is less certain. I too feel I missed out on intimacy and that makes me sad.

I'm attending IC to help me accept my situation. I work on appreciating what I have and letting go of the resentment of what is missing. I am working on accepting that it is and has been my choice to stay. I have to stop blaming him. I could leave if I wanted to. It would be hard, but not impossible.

I hope it helps to know you are not alone. Some men are asexual. IC is helping me. Maybe it would help you too.


Posts: 33 | Registered: Dec 2011
Positiveways1212
New Member
Member # 42913
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Ruckedup for your post, it helps to know I am not alone. I too have a too good to leave a too bad to stay situation but I feel I cannot go on living this way. I'm uncomfortable in my own house. I feel entitled to an answer and I just want the truth, i'm on a mission to find out. I have been in IC and continue when I feel the need to but I just cannot accept the way things are between us. If my husband wants to live his life without the things that married people do, then he should't be married. I've been talking about this for so many years he doesn't take me seriously, he has listened to my frustration and heard me vent so many times but to him it's just another conversation about the same old thing. He too could have ED but I wouldn't know, he won't talk about it. It makes me sad that you haven't been with your husband in so long and that you continue to live this way. I hope IC continues to help you and you can make a happy life for yourself.

Posts: 24 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 24
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