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Newest Member: new2this2 (45757)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Turn off or turn on? I need to be schooled! Men Please!
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shelly a week ago Friday I went to a meetup at a music venue. Met some really nice people, everyone left but me and a guy I was talking to. We closed the place. He asked for my number- pulled out 2 of his business cards. I took one and put my number on the back of one and handed it back. We left, he walked me to my car. I made sure he wasn't mugged (not a great neighborhood) on the way to his.

He called Monday evening.

Give it time. Stop reading into things. You had a great time, met some fun people. If he calls ok, if he doesn't - don't take it personally - it's still ok. You still had a great time.

Give it till Wednesday then let it go. He isn't interested.

Hugs,
K

[This message edited by Kajem at 4:39 PM, May 19th (Monday)]


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5551 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
I.will.survive
♀ Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you had fun! But if he doesn't call, I'm kinda with Sean that it's due to you having a kid.

He's really young to be thinking about some other man's kid in the picture, you know?

If he doesn't call, I doubt it had anything to do with YOU, but more about where he is in life. Single, carefree and looking for someone in that same vein.

You are just on different pages right now! I think meeting single dads would make a lot more sense for you. Easier to relate to. :)


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is giving your number to a guy really a "move"?

I'd say one in five guys I give my number to calls. Honestly, you have to not put stock in this stuff. If someone doesn't call, it probably has more to do with him than you - and if he does have some problem with you, I doubt you'd have a very satisfying relationship with him, so why would you want to waste your time?

Your attitude at the beginning was great Shelly - you were focused on the fact that you had a good evening, fun with friends, got out of the house, got the courage to give him your number, you're happy even if he doesn't call. What happened to that last bit? The obsessing on your part is the only red flag I see in anyone's behavior here.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13880 | Registered: Jul 2011
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes...I have confirmation he got my number and no I did not poof. He was actually sitting next to me and he had to slide out of a booth so I could get out and I hugged him along with all my other friends goodbye.

Funny thing is.... I didn't really expect him to call...but am proud I gave him my number and eliminated the "what if".... I know we would probably not work due to the age thing....but I still had fun! It was nice to get male attantion for once! I'm in rush for a relationship....but at least now I know I have the guts to pursue the guy if I am interested. That's something I would have NEVER done 10 years ago!!!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 9:25 PM, May 19th (Monday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
bigskyblues
♂ Member
Member # 36759
Default  Posted: 3:54 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank god for women that take the initiative! Post divorce I tired the OLD thing just to "see who's out there." A gal sent me a text shortly after I signed up and it scared the hell out of me. A few weeks later I set up another profile on another site and the same gal sent me a text. I thought what the heck and replied. We have been together ever since and life is great!

Dating is scary as heck and if you see someone your interested in take charge and give it a try.

You done good


BH 50s
xWW 50s

Dday1 7-2012
Dday2 8-2012
Divorce 9-2012

4 kids all adults.

Married 22+ years.

I have moved on and life is good!


Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2012
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Female here. Turns out I've had balls the whole time. And, I'm pretty positive you do, too.I was brain warped by manipulating STBXH and was super shy and self doubted myself all the time.

Now I know exactly what I want and I'm not afraid to show it. Do what you think is right for you. Don't second guess or doubt yourself. You have all the answers you need. Who cares what people think. If you get shot down, well, then they weren't worth your precious time. Your a diamond star!!! Don't forget that. You're the awesome one, remember! :)


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you get shot down, well, then they weren't worth your precious time. Your a diamond star!!! Don't forget that. You're the awesome one, remember! :)

I agree! I don't regret giving him my number one bit! I look at it as his loss! I know I'm a good woman and a good catch! I treat my man right when I AM in a relationship..... and right now I'm in no rush. I have plenty to keep me busy between work and my daughter and just keeping up with life in general!!!

I believe God has a plan for us all and eventually the right one will cross my path....heck we might knock each other down.....literally! I look forward to it!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
sadcountryboy
♂ Member
Member # 43058
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Add me to the list of men who think it's awesome when the woman makes the first move. It sure does eliminate a lot of doubt. However, even if a woman makes the first move, I may not be into her for whatever reason. Right now, I'm not going to be into anybody for a little while.

No big deal and I don't think it's anyone's fault. Not yours or his. You just have to keep getting back on the horse.

Of course, at 24 years old he could have got hammered the rest of the night and lost your number or threw the pants in the wash with it in their. Who knows and who cares.


Me: BH 34
Her: WW 30
Lived together 5-1/2 years
Married almost 2 years
D-Day 3/17/14
Affair for 8 months with a married man at her job
I don't even know who she is. Maybe never did.
Separated 3/21/14
headed to D

Posts: 67 | Registered: Apr 2014
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

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