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User Topic: Back here from R room
k9lover1
♀ Member
Member # 8531
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that sometimes us BS's unknowingly contribute to a form of "conditioning". The WS screws up and we allow it, ie. in their subsconsious or consciousness, this is an acceptance.

When this happens over and over they "learn" that we will accept their bad behavior.


D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late.

Posts: 8115 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: Wisconsin
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cannot attempt to change her

Certainly not, my friend, but you can demand she changer herself.

Until you do, this behavior will never stop.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6653 | Registered: Jan 2011
HowToLiveWithIt
♂ Member
Member # 18662
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course I meant I cannot change her nature, but I sure can and do demand change in her behavior.


Me BH 50, seemingly married happily 25 years
Wife 47, had 3 PA affair, last one developed as EA but then turned PA and sporadic meeting 2 times a year at conferences but lasted for 8 years. Trying to reconcile.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Mar 2008
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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