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User Topic: al comfort and healing
twitching
♀ Member
Member # 42399
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need some new means of finding comfort and healing for myself, without relying on my husband. In the past my comfort came from being with him. Maybe I depended on him for too much.

Something other than wine or crying. I tried an art journal for the past 8 months,but now that I know they re still talking to each other that seems tainted. I think I will burn it and find a new outlet, but what?


"My heart was broken and my head was just barely inhabitable. " - Anne Lamont

Posts: 128 | Registered: Feb 2014
twitching
♀ Member
Member # 42399
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No idea why my topic says "al". I typed "personal" and I guess my phone changed it.


"My heart was broken and my head was just barely inhabitable. " - Anne Lamont

Posts: 128 | Registered: Feb 2014
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Twitching - This is really a start for your healing. Recognizing that your happiness was based on getting the attention, and love of your spouse. This will be allow you to take the step to become a strong independent woman. When this happens the need to tolerate any nonsense from your WS goes away, and you become exponentially stronger. Its quite wonderful.

OK So How to comfort and heal. Things that help you find your center of balance again, and also make you feel good about yourself are what you should focus on.
I would suggest getting a really good set of headphones and download your favorite music to your phone, and start going for walks daily. Enjoy the world around you, notice all the beautiful things, take pleasure from these, flowers, animals, even the pretty patterns cut into peoples lawns.

Find out if there are some yoga or pilates classes near you. Sign up and take em. This is an excellent form of exercise that is not strenuous on your body if you aren't in great shape, and the amount of attention, and focus it takes will clear your mind of all the extraneous nonsense you are dealing with and will help you to feel stronger, and more clear of thought.

Do one nice thing for yourself each and every day. A hot bath, a long walk, reading. A pedi, a mani etc. Do things that you enjoy and make you feel better about yourself, and your appearance.

Then start looking into new hobbies and activities. Try a few that you find interesting. This is how I took up beekeeping. I was always interested in bees, and fascinated by what they can do. Two years of study, and attending local beekeeping club meetings we bit the bullet and got our first hives. Now 5 years later it's a full fledged business, and I love doing it. I also get a kick out of seeing peoples reaction on their face when I say I'm a beekeeper. you get that Really? face. It's fun.

You have the world at your feet all you have to do is take a step into it.

((((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8789 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to get out of the house. The best way to do this is to totally immerse yourself in your interests. Go on meetup.com and type in your interests in your area. I bet you can find a group in your area that does the same thing.

I'm a musician, but had hardly played out of the house during our marriage. Since moving out, I have spent every Monday night playing at an open stage, every Tuesday night playing at a jam session, have done a few gigs, and have just been asked to start up a band.

And it has kept me sane. There is a group somewhere out there that is looking to do the same for you.

[This message edited by Pass at 11:24 AM, May 20th, 2014 (Tuesday)]


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2157 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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