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Newest Member: Port (45718)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Why do you stay?
♀ New Member
Member # 42025
Default  Posted: 2:26 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. Everytime I struggle through these questions I will be re-reading this thread.

My story is also like "karmahappens"'s post. We were young when we got married. We got married in our early 20s and started a family. We had many struggles, mostly financial.... But through the years, never did I feel like we had grown apart. In fact, I feel we had grown closer as best friends through the experiences we shared. That's why I was very shocked about the affair.

It seems to me that one important reason why some marriages survived is because the couple fell in love again. How can it happen to us? I told WH that it will be difficult. I will not be able to look at him with the same innocence. He said he'll just keep doing what he's doing - that is be a good husband and father to our kids and hopefully my feelings will change in time.

DDay - December 2013 and January 2014

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014
♀ Member
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 6:02 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sunset: you and I are on a similar timeline--my DDay was early January of this year. I too have struggled with the ambivalence of staying v leaving. I kicked him out of the house to start with but found myself (rather surpassing to me) begging him not to leave me about 4 weeks later. It was another few weeks since I let him move into the guest room (only because unfortunately we don't have a dog house) where he has remained. Some days I'm thinking...this will never work, we can never repair this damage. Other days...I think I've actually never been so connected and happy in my marriage. So, it's a roller coaster and from what I gather from others posting--it's just going to take a long mother fucking time before you have true clarity of purpose.

Dday: 4th of January, 2014
WH 50
BS 49
18 years of marriage...three children
One affair PA/EA
"You didn't see me I was falling apart, I was a television version of a person with a broken heart." The National

Posts: 273 | Registered: May 2014
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I chose not to stay. Admittedly, we weren't married and had no kids as we were both 45+, but as I've gotten older, I simply have a zero tolerance policy against cheating. I wasn't going to compromise myself for someone who clearly didn't think enough of ME to respect me.

So I left.

I've never regretted it.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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