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User Topic: Affairs are good - cnn
craig2001
♂ Member
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I give up on CNN! What a ridiculous article.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/20/living/stronger-marriage-with-affairs-redbook-relate/index.html?hpt=hp_t3


Posts: 4121 | Registered: Jun 2002
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Happy  Posted: 11:09 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. That is just sickening.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2245 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read the article. Actually, all I could stomach was skimming it. Several things struck me as unusual. 1. I thought it was odd that it was just presented as another news item, versus being relegated to some opinion/editorial section 2. I wondered who would make a decision to run this piece this way. 3. It was 7 pages long on my iPad. Most of their articles are only a couple of pages.

It probably fits nicely under the category of "The end of civilization as we know it."

[This message edited by nomistakeaboutit at 11:17 PM, May 20th (Tuesday)]


Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 5
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 958 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG! I saw this earlier today and meant to post it but got wrapped up in reality TV (Yea Max & Meryl!!! Booo Ramona...)

Totally disgusted!

[This message edited by Chicky at 11:37 PM, May 20th (Tuesday)]


There's a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough.

Posts: 559 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Credence
♂ Member
Member # 42682
Default  Posted: 3:18 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A more fitting title would have been "Too many affairs makes you stupid"

These two selfish and entitled people are living in a perpetual affair fog but one day the fog will lift and it will all come crashing down. I just feel for the kids.


If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you always got

Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:32 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting that it was the man who cheated in the 10 couples featured in the "couples who weathered public affairs" photos. Do couples in the public eye not stay together if it was the woman who cheated? Or is it that men in the public eye are more likely to cheat?

And yet the article is about a woman having affairs. And it sounds as though she is on this treadmill and feels unable to get off. That she has been in this “open” marriage for so long, that she doesn’t dare change things in case the wheels fall off. What if she now wants monogamy and her husband doesn’t? She doesn’t even want to think about it because the consequences could be dire. It’s not the “spark” of an affair keeping the marriage alive, it’s a desperate need for her ego to be fed. She’s avoiding her shallowness. I see the whole article as one written by someone insecure, with an underlying sadness and who is generally unfulfilled in life.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3470 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 4:52 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It makes me feel sorry for the kids. Both parents travel a lot with their work. When they are home, one or both is going out with AP's or hooking up with ONS's. The only losers in the cake eating festival is the kids.


BW (me): 41 WH (him): 49
Married 18 years. SD: 26 from his 1st. M. DS: 21 from 1st M. DD: 17 (autistic)
D-day: 10/4/13 with ongoing TT (last TT was 10/2/14).
2 OC with 2 different OW. 15 year A with my sister.

Posts: 326 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is actually a Redbook article.

I really just skimmed it, it's just so awful.

Starting from the way she described their relationship, it sounds like she was just a booty call, they argued a lot, they somehow wound up living together....

Just the relationship without the cheating sounded pathetic. She also made it clear that she knew he was cheating, knew she couldn't stop him, so she started to also, and this is what keeps their marriage chugging along (oh, excuse me, "spark"). I guess it takes the edge off her seething resentment.

I like how at the end she basically says they're both 40 and she's not sure how much longer she can keep this up! I took that to mean she's not sure she can keep collecting lovers as easily as she did in her 20s and 30s. It's pretty sad she's even worried about that, but she chose this crummy marriage which provides no love or stability and is really more like dorm roommates.


Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
RedRaven6500
♀ Member
Member # 39626
Default  Posted: 6:22 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw this nasty piece of tripe floating around on my FB feed. I read the first paragraph and found something better to waste my time with. Totally agree with you UKgirl.


BW: Me 42, WH: Him 42, Married: 22 years
DD: 21, DS: 20 both in college
DDay: 22 Oct 2011
Year PAs/EAs started: 2004, possibly 2003
OW: 3 serious long-distance PA/EA's, several casual PA's, some at the same time. Classy
In R

Posts: 123 | Registered: Jun 2013
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree the article shows exactly what the author tries to deny. It's a complete train wreck.

However I was pleased it was published because I read the comments below and some of my faith in people was restored.

Overwhelmingly the commenters pointed out all her errors in judgment and misconceptions. They showed concern for the children involved and called her and her husband out for what they are doing. It was refreshing to read.

While knowing her bullshit filth was put out in a very public way and being concerned about the ramifications of that, I was relieved because almost all of the commenters stated in all their different ways how backwards and messed up this is. For giving people a chance to counter her messed up logic and for those comments to be available to anyone who reads the story-I am thankful.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1900 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need to add too that my WH is the one who told me about the article. He saw it while at work and clicked on it thinking it would be an article about how working to R after infidelity made a couple have a better, closer relationship but he was absolutely abhorred with what he read. And he came home to talk about it.

Yesterday it was a small link under the expensive divorce article. Today it's got it's own large photo and link. Wonder if the comments will remain as consistent?

[This message edited by BtraydWife at 6:38 AM, May 21st (Wednesday)]


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1900 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
OakStreet
♀ Member
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, I was more than disturbed to find out how "Affairs are good" on the CNN feed. Doesn't feel so good to me!

And I agree with UKGirl about all the photos being of men who cheated. Personally, I hope my WH DOESN'T see this article.


Me: 58
Him: 65
Married: 21 years (well, we'll say 19 now!).
One son: 19, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
18 month EA/PA with COW
Dday #2: 4/16/14 - took it underground for 5 months.
Haven't decided on outcome.

Posts: 500 | Registered: Nov 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's just filler from a shitty rag written by a woman so insecure about herself and her relationship she had to inflate a one sentence concept into a long winded diatribe of justifications for rugsweeping.

eta:

Wow. I saw the comments and I'm kind of impressed.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 6:45 AM, May 21st (Wednesday)]


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I think this twit's As do make her M stronger.

The As keep her from actually thinking about her M. That keeps her from realizing how sick it is. That's the way her A's work.

The thing is: if she doesn't accept how sick her M is, she can't do anything to fix it. She's stuck herself in a life of pain and fear.

I hope she gets the courage to look at herself and her life before it all falls apart. And I hope her kids are strong enough to not be like their parents.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10384 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
RomanticInnocenc
♀ Member
Member # 43041
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This article made me feel ill! Is this the world we live in now? It seems our world has become geared for quick gratification, easy sex, easy fantasy fulfilment. There are apps upon apps, websites designed for married people to hook up with other married people, Craigslist it just goes on. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to be alone. How do you compete with all that crap. Now we have misguided (at best) articles suggesting affairs have helped to keep a marriage together, when in fact there are just two selfish people living two selfish lives, inflicting God knows what kind of hurt on their children. What kind of person do you have to be to think that's good? I feel sad for the world my son has been brought into.


Me: BS 31
WH: 29 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS: getting close to 1
Together 10 years, married 2.
DD1: 8th of Jan 2014
DD2: 10th of Jan 2014
NC: 8th of Jan
In hopeful R!

Posts: 326 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
dead_inside
♀ Member
Member # 3438
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those two people are parents of the year for sure.

And OF COURSE the author's name has been changed. That says it all right there.


Me: FORMER BW
Him: WXH


Posts: 756 | Registered: Feb 2004
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4209 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's just filler from a shitty rag written by a woman so insecure about herself and her relationship she had to inflate a one sentence concept into a long winded diatribe of justifications for rugsweeping.
Ditto.

I feel so sorry for the kids. Kids don't need stupid insecure mothers.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Topic Posts: 18

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