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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When your wayward ex remarries…instantly
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They will make each other as happy as two fucking lying dirtbag cheaters deserve to be


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**

Posts: 384 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex hasn't married the slunt, which is probably the smartest thing he's done thus far, but they also play house. I'm pretty sure he went right to playing house with her after he left us, but because she was not allowed to be around my kids until 6 months after the D was final, they held off on living together full-time.

When they were finally able to bring her around, they moved very quickly. They moved into this super crappy apartment house - one across the hall from the other. (When I say crappy, I'm not kidding. My mother drove by it and sat in her car with tears streaming down her face that he was going to bring my kids to stay in a run down POS.) They then introduced my kids to dad's new neighbor without ever telling them who she was. The big mistake there was that her children had been around my ex for a while by that time so, of course, they spilled it to my kids very shortly thereafter. The slunt also didn't like not being legitimized so, despite his instructions, she put a pic of them together and kissing right up on her refrigerator so that my kids could see when they walked across the hall. I'm amazed that he thought he could pull off that lie and that the kids would just think she was the neighbor he started dating. Morons.

He bought a house last year. It's honestly the smallest house most of my friends have ever seen. As one friend put it, "I've had bowel movements that were bigger". Now that they have a house, I also know what she's in for.

He was one of the laziest husbands I could have picked. Of course, I was super co-dependent and I'm a fixer so I did everything. I worked full time, cleaned, cooked, shopped, took care of the kids, etc. He did just enough to make me think he was engaged, but he really wasn't, not when I see how other husbands act and how other husbands take pride in their homes and families.

This is the prize that she won. I know from what my kids tell me that he's still that guy who does everything badly and reluctantly. He won't do laundry until the underwear/sock drawers are totally empty. He won't cut the grass until it looks like the fields of Vietnam. He won't shovel the driveway until someone slips and falls on the ice. In fact, a very good source and SI member who lives near him told me at the end of April that the Christmas lights are still up on this very small, 1 story home.

I'm sure the slunt also was told that I was just a screaming, sex withholding maniac. That's also the reason that I LOVE the fact that I've never said a word to either of them. If I was such a crazy shrew, I'm pretty sure I would have gone nuts when I found out about them. I would have confronted her, I would have punched him, and I would have outed them to their HR director and all the other colleagues of his that thought he was such a nice, quiet guy. I did nothing. I turned around and let those two idiots have at it.

Guess what? They live like trash now. He looks like an old drunk to the point where people I haven't seen or talked to in months have gotten in touch with me to tell me that he looks like a "stray dog". She clearly doesn't take care of him and she does next to nothing for our children. He's lazy and could care less about taking care of his house, his car, his kids, her and her kids. He just stumbles along waiting for the next time that he can drink and sleep late. You think he's a nice man because he doesn't yell and he doesn't ever confront. What this slunt doesn't know is that all that quiet time is used to build up a concrete wall of resentment and one day that dam is wall is gonna explode.

While I still get sad and amazed at this whole turn of events, I know in my heart that I got the best of him. I got him when he had that mask fastened real tight and he appeared to want to stand up and be a man. She got him at his worst and I think it's going to be nothing but downhill from here.

BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2879 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ New Member
Member # 42911
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have any problems with his new wife; she is not the AP, so she, and her child (and their child) are all innocent in this. I just worry. But I need to let the worry go--it isn't mine any more and there is nothing I can do about it. It shouldn't take up my head space. He can be violent, he drinks too much, and again..the no-therapy business astonishes me. I've been in therapy for almost 2 years, since the marriage started to come apart and months before he even confessed, when I thought we were negotiating in good faith.
It's hard to let it go. We all live in the same town, too, so I fear running into them, but strangely in the entire time we have lived apart, I've only run into him twice. Our circles just don't overlap. But seeing them, seeing her pregnant…I can't be sure that I won't burst into tears.
I did get the best out of the divorce. I am safe, happily employed, held up by wonderful supports. He bought me out of the house and I also got QDRO funds, so I'm fine financially.
It's just--remarrying in eight months, after 12 years of marriage?! Who does that?! It's incredible how they can look so familiar, and yet be such complete strangers, isn't it?
I pray that he always gives her the honor, honesty, and respect every wife and mother deserves. And then I will continue to work on letting it go.
Thank you all for your stories too.

Posts: 29 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Appalachia
Topic Posts: 23
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