Not knowing your story at all, it feels a little like she is setting you up for failure. It just seems like a red flag to me that you DID change your work schedule to address what was becoming a marital issue, but it's still not "good enough" for her. This is where wayward thinking would get her into trouble again, thinking she is justified to go outside the marriage to get her "needs" met.
Is it not possible to compromise on the vacay thing? Can you start planning more 3-day weekends with her if that's something that can accommodate your schedule better than weeks off at a time? Maybe some shorter date nights during the week or an every Friday or every other Friday night date or something?
If she's truly trying to R and expressing her feelings, maybe she just needs some reassurance that she is more important than work, so you ask her to discuss it and work on compromising something that can be a win-win all around.
But she needs to compromise, too.. If you keep feeling like you are fighting a losing battle, even though you are giving it your best shot, then the problem might not be you..