Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: dink (44972)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I got laid off from my job.
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Shocked  Posted: 10:56 PM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a single mom with two mouths to feed and I have no job.

Fuck! What am I going to do?


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That really sucks. I'm so sorry this is happening to you!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1939 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, May 24th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry, rab. Are you in the states? If so, you need to file for unemployment benefits immediately. I was going to list out all the government agencies I could think of that help, but Livestrong.com has an awesome page that lines it up better than I could...

http://www.livestrong.com/article/217623-benefits-for-unemployed-moms/

If you're not in the states, let's try to pool minds from your locality and see if we can help somehow. You will get through this. Sending all kinds of strength and hugs.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17360 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got laid off last year. Luckily, they had a transition set up from the hospital to a service. But then I got an even better offer from another local hospital and worked there 6 months. Buuuuut, things didn't end up working out there at all, and I'm back at the service now.

I tell ya, going through job changes AND the divorce at the same time was hell. I needed consistency. But the best workers are the ones that adapt to changes. You don't have to know how to do everything, just be willing to learn how, and people will teach you.

Sending my prayers and strength! And yes, file immediately for unemployment just in case!


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. I'm so sorry, honey. ((((r&b))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25382 | Registered: Aug 2011
keptmyword
♂ Member
Member # 35526
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know how you feel. I was going through the divorce while at the same time the company I worked for was falling apart and laying off many. The divorce was finalized and six months later I was layed off.

You must adapt to the situation. File for unemployment benefits and use whatever resources you can to find new employment. Be strong, persistent, and relentless in your job hunt. Show potential employers you are the one who will be there early and be the last to leave.

Persistence with some boldness is key here.


I Divorced Her.

Posts: 362 | Registered: May 2012
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 2:06 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are going to do what needs to be done. Pick yourself up and start again. Those two mouths depend on it... And you will make it!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3586 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
neverbeokay
Member
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry, that happened to me about 18 months ago and it was terrifying. You do need to apply for unemployment benefits right away, in my state there is a waiting period. If your former employer offers any outplacement assistance, take advantage of that.

Start networking immediately, tell everyone you know that you are looking for a new position, and be very clear on the kind of job you want. People will be willing to help but you have to let them know what position you are searching for.

One thing I would warn against is to wait to start your search for a new job, thinking you could spend the summer with your kids. The longer you wait the harder it is to explain the gap in employment.

Good luck.


Posts: 294 | Registered: Sep 2005
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hugs))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4634 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
TrustedHer
♂ Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Women's shelters.
St. Vincent dePaul.
In Illinois, the township supervisor can give aid.
Contact your church (or any church) for a list of resources.
Local food bank.

Definitely unemployment, ASAP.

And update your resume and begin your job search now.


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5156 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
teeghan
♀ Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, May 25th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to tell you something that I did and it HELPED me greatly.

I went to craigslist and I replied to ads that I qualified for. I put in the email that I was a single mom, I was in a shelter, but had childcare, and a car and I was a hard worker. I asked that they take a chance on a hard worker that will be a great asset to their company.

I laid it all out on the line. While i know your not in a shelter, you can say your a single mom to two kids, and that you are a hard worker who just needs someone to give them a chance. I had 8 calls the next day and landed a wonderful job that was actually with a few folks there I use to work for that was surprsing to see when I walked in.

I will keep you in my prayers. Apply for foodstamps, unemployment, seek any help you can that offers assistance.


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
GingerAle
♀ Member
Member # 33822
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ruinedandbroken))))


My WH (The KISA, NPD) 6 month EA in 2010
2 other EAs in 2012 & 2013
Filed for D 7/2014


Posts: 410 | Registered: Nov 2011
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry Ruinedandbroken!

I also know how you feel. I'd just kicked XWH out for the last time. He'd just about to signed a lease at his new apartment when I got notice that I was laid off. It took everything in me to not beg him to stay so that the kids and I had his income to pay the bills.

Please file for unemployment immediately.
Your new full time job is to look for another job. Here's hoping you find something VERY soon.

((( ruined and kiddos )))


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6443 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am in the United States. I have applied for unemployment but it will be about 1/5th of my salary. I will apply for assistance too. I'm not sure if that will cover the bills though. I am so scared. I have never been out of work. Ever.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is a material change in circumstances. Can you apply for a CS modification? In some states you can just call your local support enforcement office and they can handle it w/o going back to an attorney.

lots of good thoughts for you!

(RAB)


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
SadInNC
♀ Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm really sorry to hear this. You will find a job soon but in the meantime, get the unemployment and food stamps. I feel trapped in my marriage right now due to finances.

Wish you the best and try to stay optimistic. That can be the hardest thing. You can do this!


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 339 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I am having the hardest time keeping my spirits up. :( If I didn't feel like my future was uncertain before, I sure do now.

I feel like a total failure in every way shape and form right now.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
neverbeokay
Member
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know from experience that getting laid off does a number on your self esteem. Please know that this happens to all kinds of very talented and capable people, it's just the way of the corporate world. You are not your job! You are a terrific person, mom, and yes, worker but for reasons you had nothing to do with your firm had to downside and you were in the crossfire.


Posts: 294 | Registered: Sep 2005
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((RAB))

It feels awful. Don't let it get to you too much. Getting laid off isn't a reflection of you, your value or your talent. It is the scariest feeling when its just you.

I got laid off 3 days after I signed the lease on my own place after leaving my X. I was terrified. Things started to fall in to place but it took a lot. You will find a way. Have faith in you.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
Topic Posts: 19

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.