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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Panic attack over a month later
Emmadean
♀ Member
Member # 43153
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I'm over a month from dday, the mind movies have settled down considerably, WH are getting along for the most part. Only one big fight since dday. I still generally live in a shitty state of generally being sad but I know it takes time... Things are getting better, very slowly, but I think they are getting better. So why did I have a full on panic attack at work tonight?!? I was checking in a patient, totally mundane, and out of nowhere got a visual of WH in the act with her. I had to run to the bathroom to calm down. I thought I was past this..


Dday 4/12/14
BS me age 33
WH age 32
married 12 years, together 13
2 kids (ages 5 and 2)
he had a ONS, confessed everything several days later

Posts: 63 | Registered: Apr 2014
lbuzz
♀ Member
Member # 43164
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have the same d-day date, although my WH had a few week affair that I discovered. He also did the same thing 15 years before. I think some of the visual images that return for me are from PTSD often. The incident is a traumatic shock to the system, and our minds don't know how to process it so we get these processing doses intermingled with regular feelings. I'm so exhausted from it all, and I wish I had some control too. I had no control over anything that happened, and somehow I think that is part of these images knocking me over the head without me being able to control them too. I think it's perhaps a chance to at least begin to control myself.

Posts: 53 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: CA
phoenix2015
♀ Member
Member # 42039
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Emmadean and Ibuzz, I am truly sorry that you both find yourselves here, but there is no better place to share all the experiences yet to come. At one month out I was still in shock. I would read the statement that it would take 2 to 5 years to heal from infidelity, but did not really believe that would apply to me. Now, 8 months later I am starting to accept that it will be closer to 5 years.
Please be good to yourself, you will have many moments that knock you down and you will have good and bad days. It takes time to process what has happened to your life.
Enjoy today


Me: BS, 43 yrs
Him: WH, 45 yrs
Married 23 yrs
4 daughters, 7-18 yrs
D-day:9/10/13
4 week EA
Porn addiction 15 yrs

Your character is what you do when you think no one is watching.


Posts: 77 | Registered: Jan 2014
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate those feelings. I'm also starting to get really tired of feeling like this on a daily basis.

Just wanted to let you know you've been heard. Big hugs.


Posts: 115 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
BrokenheartedUK
♀ Member
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is, I'm afraid, fairly normal. You've had a trauma and you will have a form of PTSD for a while. The best you can hope for is that you can manage them and with time, they apparently get less frequent. Good luck.


Dday: 4th of January, 2014
WH 50
BS 49
18 years of marriage...three children
One affair PA/EA

Whatever doesn't kill you...doesn't kill you.


Posts: 173 | Registered: May 2014
ItsaClimb
♀ Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{Emmadean}} This is going to take much longer than you would imagine to get better.

I woke up in the middle of the night a couple of nights ago, from a bad A related dream, and had a panic attack... really bad one. I'm 21 months out and things are going really good for fWH and I at the moment.

I think we have to accept that we are mentally, physically and emotionally processing a major trauma... it's going to take YEARS for all the symptoms to fade. Sad, but true.


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 959 | Registered: Oct 2012
Restartting
♀ Member
Member # 32825
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agree with others that this takes more time. Three years out, R going very well, and I still trigger on occasion. Not often, not full on panic attacks, but it still happens. Don't beat yourself up for not being past it -- just deal with these things as they come, and it will get better.

[This message edited by Restartting at 1:59 PM, May 26th (Monday)]


Me: BS 35
Him: FWS 43
DDay 7/1/2011
I'm sad there's a typo in my username. I write on my ipad and edit for typos.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jul 2011
OnAnIsland
♀ Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Give yourself time and a break. That is absolutely, positively normal, if you ask me anyway. It will take a lot of time. At one month out, many folks are still frozen, and haven't begun to feel or process. I know I went on autopilot survival mode after d day and for some months to come. then eventually i let myself start to feel and process more of the A pain.

be gentle with yourself.


D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou


Posts: 1478 | Registered: Dec 2011
Emmadean
♀ Member
Member # 43153
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the support and letting me know this is normal... I know it will take a long time, I just hate when the panic seems to strike out of nowhere. I just want to have one normal day. Is that too much to ask for?

Thanks for listening :)


Dday 4/12/14
BS me age 33
WH age 32
married 12 years, together 13
2 kids (ages 5 and 2)
he had a ONS, confessed everything several days later

Posts: 63 | Registered: Apr 2014
brkn_heartd
♀ Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, May 26th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Emmadean,
As you have read it is normal. I was still having panic attacks 4 yrs post dday. I will say however, they have gotten a little more mild with the passage of time. They hit when every, and where ever they want to. Some times with triggers, sometimes not as you described. Be patient with yourself. Share the even with your WS. Let him know what is going on. His reaction to your panic attack will also let you know how committed he is on R.

Hugs to you.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1591 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Topic Posts: 10

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