But we both had awful nights. I woke up at 2 crazy angry and slept in the other bed. He had awful dreams of me sneaking out at night to see a guy. We both lost about 3 hours of sleep. I woke up with an awful migraine and he had to go for a run to let off some steam.
Both of us wondering why we had such a good weekend and then this happens. And it makes me wonder, at over 4 years out, he still has these dreams and I feel so sad for him. Infidelity really does wreak havoc on the BS's life.
Unanswered questions? Still trust, anger and abandonment issues? We did find out DS may have contracted an STD, other DS starts right out of college job today.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...
I can so relate. We too had a great weekend. Lots of togetherness, playing gardening, picnics. There were a hand full of times I looked around and thought "I have such an amazing partner and family, I so glad we stuck it out"
Then last night my sleep was full of ragefull angry dreams. Why? I don't know. But it sucks.
Sometimes it feels like when we get really comfortable and truly happy, our subconscious is there to remind us to not be to vulnerable. At least that is how it feels to me. I have to fight right now not pulling back when everything feels comfortable and happy. And I feel vulnerable again. I know that this is the space that I need to be in, in order for our relationship to move forward.
I can so relate to this. I agree with tiredgirl's statement above. It seems like I do this too. Things are going well, but it is like I need to remind myself. Hang in there rachelc. I am glad that you had a good weekend.
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
With regards to the bounce/drop affect.
Mondays pretty much still suck for me.....two fold for me.
First, I read emails that basically said "can't wait for Monday....blakesteele will be busy at work and we can play again"
Second. Like you, I have noticed a bad night after a good weekend. Therapists have said totally normal....part of healing. Sounds like you both express this to each other. It's what has been recommended to us......helps kill further resentments.
Keep going.....recognizing the negatives, emphasizing the positives.